


A Noble Song

by Riversnake



Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who & Related Fandoms, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Action/Adventure, Angst, Drama, F/F, F/M, Family, Gen, Humor, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-07-13
Updated: 2014-05-07
Packaged: 2017-12-20 02:47:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 20
Words: 40,564
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/882045
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Riversnake/pseuds/Riversnake
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>She was running. He loved running. So it only made sense to run together. But what she is running from is more than anyone could have anticipated. And what she's running to is just as surprising, and just as dangerous.  </p><p>A multi-chapter fic that will take us on a new adventure with a new companion, who drops in out of the blue, and will change the lives of many a current and past companion, and of course, the Doctor himself.</p><p>In other words, she is far more than he bargained for.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue: The Fall of the Eleventh

**Author's Note:**

> Characters tagged will come in at various points, so please be patient! 
> 
> Rated M for later chapters. 
> 
> Enjoy :)

Clara had managed to get the Doctor onto the TARDIS before the soft glow began to intensify, wrapping his body in a dangerous warmth that threatened to burst out of his skin at any moment; his run was over, this was the fall of the Eleventh.

She was frantic, her quick mind calculating as she helped lay him down on the floor of the console room; it was as far as he could manage, and she wasn’t strong enough to carry the full weight of a man twice her size. As much as he had prepared her for this, as much as he continued to press that this was it, that it would be okay and he would care for her in his new body as much as he did in this one, she was stubborn and refused to let the words take root in her heart. Her eyes were glassy as she put a hand to his face.

  
“Doctor,” she said softly, her voice low and falsely steady. “Please,” she tried again, “I’m clever, yeah? Brilliant. You said so. So whatever it is, I can do it, just- tell me what to do.” Her eyes were strained and full, but she worked to keep her breathing even, desperately trying to coax an answer out of him.

  
“Clara,” he breathed, “There’s nothing-”

  
“Please,” she begged again, her voice cracking, “If I-”

The Doctor hushed her with a gentle trace of his hand on her cheek, a movement that had taken more energy than he could afford. “Shhh. Please.”

  
This was too familiar. She wasn’t ready. At Trenzalore, their position had been nearly the same. She looked about her frantically, as if there would suddenly be another timestream waiting for her to throw herself into, a simple answer to save the day. A simple sacrifice to save the man who had shown her the universe.

  
Panicked and realizing that things were about to change, whether she liked it or not, she collapsed onto his chest, sobbing and unwilling to let him go. Maybe if she stayed there, she could physically stop that golden light from bursting forth; she would capture it within herself if she had to, though he had made it very clear she needed to be far away from him when it finally did happen.

“River...”

  
Clara looked up, her brows furrowed, her eyes warm and wet. She blinked hard at what she saw, following the Doctor’s gaze. She felt struck, as though she were seeing a ghost. A dream.

  
Which, in fact, she knew she was.

  
Professor River Song, the woman with the space hair, the Doctor’s wife, stood above them at the Doctor’s feet. Her aura was serene and powerful, her fiercely beautiful face alight, her green eyes cast down on her husband’s face with a gentle smile. Her dress was pure and white, and she stood with the grace of an angel. The Doctor had whispered her name in awe as if she were just that. His hearts contracted at the sight of her, aching for her presence and too weak to fight how much he wanted her, needed her. He let the tears fall from his eyes freely, as he so rarely did. In this moment, where this him was crossing into death, none of the masks, the fear, the spoilers or anything else could stand strong in the face of how much he loved her. None of it mattered.

  
Clara looked up at her pleadingly; she seemed to be the woman to have all the answers, so she must have one for her now. But River and the Doctor continued to look at each other, whispering things across the space between them that words could never be constructed to say.

  
“Please,” Clara begged her quietly.

  
River continued to look down at her fallen Doctor, and slowly, almost gliding, stepped over to the side of him opposite Clara, kneeling down in one sweeping motion. She gently took his face in her hands, tilting his face to her ever-so-slightly. She held him between her palms as if he were the most precious and fragile artifact of all time. Which to her, he absolutely was.

  
“Oh, my love,” her voice rang out beautifully in the static silence, warm and inviting and full of devotion. Her fingertips danced lightly across his skin. Clara was sitting back on her heels, her hands gripping the Doctor’s arm as she watched quietly, her own tears streaking her skin noiselessly.

  
“River,” he breathed, again, and it was as if her name was his lifeline.

  
Which to him, it absolutely was.

  
“I wish...” he continued.

She silenced him with a brush of her thumbs softly against his lips as her hands continued to worship his face.  
  
“Hush, now,” she whispered, “I know.”

Her smile was reverent and full as she looked at him. A few tears continued to escape his tired eyes, and she caught them easily with a sweep ofher fingers.

Then, something changed as they watched each other, as if they were having a silent conversation again in the air. The Doctor’s eyes widened slightly as he gazed into her eyes with a probing stare.

“How?” He breathed incredulously.

She laughed quickly, lightly. She did love when she managed to truly surprise him. “Spoilers.”

The Doctor let out a rough laugh, a single sound that made his body arch a bit in pain. River brought one hand down to smooth over his chest, running the other soothingly through his hair.

“Shhh, relax, my love. It’ll only be another moment. Just relax.”

Clara was about to ask what was going on, unable to take the confusion on top of everything else. What spoilers now? Had she found a way to save him, _this_ him? Her fingers itched restlessly- she needed to know.

But before she could ask any questions, there was a burst of smoke behind her, and a quick crackling sound, forcing her to turn her head and see a figure that had materialized out of thin air.

 _How do people keep doing that?_ She wanted to scream. It was really very startling, and in this moment, absurdly irritating.

Clara shook her head as she tried to keep up, but she didn’t have much time to think before the figure had moved to her side, kneeling by the Doctor’s head.

She registered a couple of things: the figure was a woman, a young woman, maybe slightly younger than Clara. She had soft curls that were dust colored and tinted with gold, pulled back into a tight ponytail. Her eyes were warm and brown, gentle but knowing, and her breath quick but her manner somehow calm, as though she had been running a long while and had managed to make it to her destination in time, as she knew always knew she would. She wore dark-wash jeans and a simple white tank, which looked like it had seen better days. Her thick military boots tucked under her easily as she sat.

River had looked up as the girl appeared, seemingly unsurprised by her appearance and her smile spreading a bit as the smoke settled.

“I made it,” the girl breathed. Clara vaguely registered that the girl had an American accent.

River lifted her hand to caress the girl’s cheek, affirming her job well done, whatever that was. “Good girl.”

Her breathing relaxed a bit under River’s touch, letting out a sigh as she closed her eyes briefly.

In another moment, she was back to business, her movements even but important as she withdrew a small object from her pocket.

The Doctor regarded her, in too much pain at this point to question who she was or what she was doing here, how she had materialized into his TARDIS. River knew her, and apparently trusted her, and that was enough for him. River, meanwhile, turned her focus easily back to her Doctor. The girl did something with the small, metallic device in her hand, and it suddenly started flashing in a series of small green lights.

“Where?” she asked.

“Here,” River replied softly, her fingers grazing gently over a spot below the Doctor’s ear.

The girl nodded once and began to move her hand, and the device, towards the spot.

Clara suddenly caught up, and caught the girl’s arm firmly before it was halfway there.

“No, no, hang on,” she insisted harshly, “What is going on? Who are you? Who is she, Professor?”

“Clara...” the girl started.

“Darling,” River’s voice cut her off, her tone soft but warning, “Remember what I told you.”

“Right,” the girl nodded, taking a breath, “Spoilers.”

She was reminding herself, which infuriated Clara further. She was sitting right there and no one was telling her anything. No one was giving her any information, any acknowledgement at all.

“Excuse me, but I don’t understand,” she snapped, “I want to know what in the bloody hell that thing is and who you think you are-”

When the girl simply looked at her stoically, pain searing subtly behind her eyes, Clara turned her head back to River, her grip on the girl’s arm growing tighter every second. “He needs help, River, he needs-”

“Clara,” River stopped her gently, “I promise you, this is only the beginning.”

She had not been expecting those words, and she straightened a bit, her grip faltering slightly. She was still angry, confused, desperate...

“What are you talking about? What does that mean?”

“It means,” she continued, her face full of calm understanding, “It’s not over for you. But it is over for him. _This_ him. And he needs-”

“You,” the Doctor finished, his voice strained but present as he looked at River, who turned her glowing face back to him.

The girl smiled knowingly beside them as she watched the two look at each other with such irreplaceable, indescribable love. Clara couldn’t understand what about any of this could make any of them so calm, so seemingly content. But she couldn’t stop watching the girl’s face as she watched River and the Doctor bask in each other.

Snapping out of their private reverie, the girl turned to Clara, unsurprised that her gaze was already upon her. “Clara,” she started, carefully pulling her arm out of her grip and taking Clara’s loosened hand between her own.

“How do you know my name?”

“I can’t tell you that,” she said, looking as if all she wanted in the universe was to do just that. “But for now, please,” she begged, raising Clara’s hand to her lips and kissing it gently, letting her lips linger for a moment on her skin. She looked back up at her, “You have to trust me.”

After a moment, she carefully released her hand, and turned back to the Doctor. “It’s time,” River nodded, locking eyes with her.

Carefully, the girl leaned over and placed the flashing device below his right ear, River’s hand ghosting over hers lightly as she did. It suctioned painlessly to his skin with a soft click, and it was done.

Clara could only watch her face as she did it, having no reason whatsoever to trust this stranger, and yet, inexplicably, knowing with every fiber of her being that she did.

Suddenly, the glow around him became sharp and electric, the energy jumping and pulsating against his skin. “I’ll see you soon, my love,” River whispered against his ear. She kissed his cheek swiftly, and then faded into the air. The TARDIS began to shake a bit, and Clara could tell it was happening. She looked down at the Doctor, immovable as his face strained and his body shook and stretched.

“Move!” She heard the girl scream as she grabbed Clara’s shoulders and threw her, along with her own body, to the furthest corner of the room. The girl covered Clara’s with her own, pinning her in place and protecting her from what was coming. Moments later, the vibrating energy exploded furiously around the Doctor as his limbs stuck straight out, pouring out of him in golden waves and streaks of fire. In a flash, it swept around him and sucked itself into the flashing device the girl had attached to him, filling it with a brighter light, the green tabs suddenly alive and beating furiously. And although it was stuck to the same spot on his skin, out of nowhere, the skin no longer belonged to the same man.

Regeneration had taken its course, and he was new again.

Abandoning Clara’s side, the girl rushed over to the Doctor, the new Doctor, and gently removed the device from his neck. She ran to the monitor, flipping switches on the console with ease and typing something into the base, before shoving the little flashing object into a slot beneath the screen.

Clara barely saw what was happening as she slowly stood, catching her breath and staring at the new man lying where her Doctor had been.

Where he had died.

She walked over to him almost in a trance, kneeling beside him and touching his new face, trying to reconcile all his new features with the Doctor.

His face was not as long, and his skin was a richer color, as if he had suddenly been spending time in the sun. His hair was dark and shaggy, but it wasn’t his. It didn’t fall the same. His nose was shorter, his lips a different shape. He looked older, a man in his late forties perhaps. His eyebrows were thick, and he was shorter. Oh, he was still tall, but she could tell he wouldn’t tower over her nearly the way he had before. He was handsome, he was there, he was breathing, though unconscious. But her clever brain wouldn’t let it make sense. Where was the Doctor?

Maybe if she heard him speak, it would be easier. Maybe his voice would be almost the same.

“Why isn’t he awake?” she asked, her voice hoarse and drained.

The girl didn’t look up as she clicked away at the keyboard, “He’ll be okay, promise. He’ll be conscious soon enough.”

“But, I don’t...” Clara started to weakly protest.

“Shhh!” The girl shushed her, swinging the screen around and watching the images play out before her. Clara stood, walking to stand beside her, baffled by what she was seeing.

It was her Doctor, alive and walking, bow tie and all, across the screen.

“What- how is that-”

“Wait, wait, wait,” the girl muttered distractedly, “There she is.”

She spoke softly, her smile gentle and full of pride. “I did it.”

Clara watched what she saw on the screen with vivid interest, a dull pain still aching in her chest.

Professor River Song, looking much as she had when she had appeared in the TARDIS, was standing in the middle of an expanse of green lawn in front of a large and ancient-looking building.

“Doctor-” Clara tried, thinking maybe she could speak to him.

“He can’t hear you,” the girl said quickly, still watching. She stopped for a moment, glancing briefly at Clara, “I’m sorry.”

The Doctor on the screen turned, and his eyes landed on River; whatever he had been looking for, he found it when he saw her. They stopped for a moment. The Doctor’s back was to the screen but River’s smile was radiant as she looked at him. In a breath, he was running. Running as always, but not away. He was running to her. He had always been running to her.

She met him nearly halfway, but his feet were quick and driven, and he got to her first. Upon reaching her, he immediately wrapped his arms around her waist, scooping her up and spinning her around, as they both beamed and laughed through those rare tears that were brought on by an all-consuming, disbelieving joy.

If they were echoes, they were echoes together now. And no one was fading from anywhere.

The Doctor placed River down and caressed her face tenderly, her eyes closing at the feel of his skin against hers once more. After a moment, he brought his lips down to hers in a slow, desperate kiss that was finally full of the promise of forever.

The girl beside Clara laughed, her own eyes brimming as she watched the monitor. Clara looked to her briefly, her expression softened now but still full of confusion and disbelief.

On the screen, the Doctor pulled away slightly from his wife, shaking his head and speaking, though they couldn’t hear the words he was saying. They were observers, but there was no output of sound.

“What’s that?” Clara asked, wanting to hear his voice, “What did he say?”

But the girl wasn’t paying attention, just watching intently, face still glowing.

The Doctor’s face changed drastically when River’s lips moved in a seeming answer to whatever question he had asked, her expression sweet and warm. He stared blankly for a moment, then suddenly shook his head and let out what both girls could tell was a burst of laughter. He scooped River up into a tight embrace once more, and he looked up, as if looking for someone or something in the sky.

“You’re welcome,” the girl whispered, knowing they couldn’t hear her. A tear fell as she looked at the screen, River and the Doctor still speaking as they walked away, hands tight in each others, and the girl wiped the stray tear away quickly as she flipped a switch and the screen went black.

“Right then,” she exclaimed, suddenly present and doing that thing again where it was, out of nowhere, back to business, “Time to go.”

Clara, as if coming to, shook her head. “No, no wait, what was that, that- that was the Doctor, can’t we get him back?”

The girl stopped her movements, bringing her hand up to Clara’s face and turning it away from the screen. Clara let her head be moved, but stared at the girl in confusion.

“Clara,” then, realizing her hand, she dropped it with a quick, “Sorry,” and continued:

“That is the Doctor,” she assured her, pointing to the man still asleep on the floor, “And he needs you. He needs you to know he’s still the Doctor and you... look, I can’t tell you too much, and I have a tendency to talk more than I should so let me just say this: it is far from over for you, for him. It’s the same man Clara, you of all people know that. It’s the same man.”

The girl turned and walked away towards the edge of the ramp near the TARDIS doors.

“But, the Doctor on the screen, that green thing, what-”

The girl talked quickly, interrupting Clara’s questions easily as she lifted her arm up and began typing into a thick, black band strapped to her wrist.

“He’s a copy- a copy of that him, just like- River, the Professor. They’re both copies, the regenerative energy allowed for that version of him to...” she looked up at Clara, whose face hadn’t changed.

The girl smirked, “Never mind,” she said softly, “It’s complicated. You’ll understand it in time.” She went back to clicking away on her strange bracelet. 

Clara could tell she was about to disappear, and without thinking, cried out, “Wait!” She doubled back a bit, surprised by her own exclamation.

The girl simply smiled at her, and spoke with understanding once more. “I’ll see you soon. And you’ll see me soon, actually. It’s okay, Clara. It will be hard at first, but you have to know that whatever happens, whatever you decide to do, it’s okay. And it won’t mean it’s over.”

Her tone was forgiving, and Clara marveled at it.

And then, in a flash of smoke, the girl was gone.

Clara was left in a painful silence, turning to look at the man who was apparently still the Doctor. His body was still, and the TARDIS felt suddenly oppressive. What was she supposed to do? She gripped the railing for support as she stopped to try and think, to process the insanity and pace of everything that had just happened.

She didn’t have much time to do so, however, before a sound from the floor made her look up.

The new Doctor was sitting upright, and she felt her breath leave her as she waited for the sound that would confirm that everything had changed.


	2. Going Home

She had run.

Without thinking, Clara had run from the console room towards the TARDIS doors.

"Clara!" he had called, stopping her. She felt a faint pull on her heart when she heard his voice. It wasn't his voice. It wasn't his.

 _But it is him_ , she reminded herself sternly, closing her eyes, _it is him._

 _What am I doing?_ she thought, pulling herself together and turning around. She jumped a bit when the Doctor was suddenly standing right in front of her, having bounced over to her while she wasn't looking, gazing down on her in concern. "Are you alright?"

Clara had to smile softly at that. _It is him,_  she thought happily.

"Yeah," she said, waving his worry away, "Yeah, yeah, I'm fine." She reached her hands up and dusted off his jacket matter-of-factly as she spoke. "How are you? That was quite the scene."

"Indeed," he agreed, his dark eyes wide as he twirled around, adjusting to his new body. His voice was deeper, a low sound that was smooth and graceful. Ironic, since he still seemed to be every bit the flailing goofball that he always had been. But then, some things never change.

"How do I look?" He said, his new lips spread into an unfamiliar smirk. Clara swallowed, trying to remember that some things would be new. New face, new voice, and new expressions to go along with them.

She gave a half-hearted laugh as he almost tripped in the trousers that were now suddenly too long and a bit too snug. 

"Ooo, I see," he said, learning his new body as he stretched and moved. "Better find some more suitable clothes, back in a mo'!" he called out to her as he moved up the stairs into the depths of the TARDIS. As he disappeared from view, she heard him muse to himself, "Ha, bow ties, what was I thinking?"

She felt her stomach lurch as if she could see him rip it away carelessly and toss it aside. 

_It isn't him._

She tried desperately to stop the thoughts as she paced around the console, trying to remind herself, to remember. Out of nowhere, she thought of the stranger.

The girl had said something to her that she couldn't shake:  _"_ _It will be hard at first, but you have to know that whatever happens, whatever you decide to do, it’s okay. And it won’t mean it’s over."_

What did she mean? What decision did she have to make? And if she made the wrong one, would things really not be over?

Her thoughts continued to wander as she leaned against the railing.

Her life had always been a mess, but then, she had always been a fragment. Until Trenzalore. The Doctor had found some way to restore her and suddenly everything was fuller: her memories, her past, the possibilities in her future. She had decided to stay anyways, for what could a simple life, a simple home, compare to dancing about through the universe?

Lately, however, she couldn't help thinking that it just might.

It had started as a feeling of completion, pieces of herself that she hadn't even known were missing had all fallen into place, and it was a sense of life that filled her where she hadn't known she was empty. But the feeling of completion was suddenly tinged with a longing she had also never known, and one that had been pulling on her, growing and intensifying with every day she spent on the TARDIS. She suddenly realized that perhaps that was why she had been so reluctant to let the last Doctor go in the first place. It was more than the fact that he was hers, the one she had saved, the one who had saved her. If he was gone, so would be another familiar piece of her life on this ship, which in itself was feeling more like a fragment as time wore on. She was holding onto him in a depearate, and maybe foolish, attempt to keep things the same. If he was changing, so could she. And maybe, then, change was something she should try.

The Doctor strode out suddenly, snapping her back to reality. But it didn't matter. She knew what she needed to do.

"There we go!" he exclaimed brightly, hopping down the stairs to the console, "Much better." He flipped a switch and the TARDIS lurched, being thrown into the vortex once more as he added with a bitter grumble, "Though still not ginger."

Clara watched him, a sad smile twitching at the sides of her lips. He had thick, black rectangular glasses on his face, though she knew he probably didn't need him. Perhaps this was his chosen accessory this time around. He had chosen a casual white button up, loose but accentuating the new tones of his body, with the top two buttons left undone. Over that, a vest, black pinstripe, and rough denim on his legs. Beneath their hem, she could make out dark red converse.

She laughed as she took him in, "Very cool, Doctor, very... hip."

"I know, right?" he agreed with a giggle. That was still there. "I definitely had it right that time," he mused, kicking out a foot and referring to his shoes, "These are much better for running." He dropped his foot and looked up at her, his eyes warm and full of new life. "And we do an awful lot of that, don't we?"

She reciprocated his warm expression with equal sincerity, though her stomach twisted at what she knew she had to do.

"So!" the Doctor exclaimed, running about the console with feet that were doing their own sort of dance as he went, "Where to now?"

Clara took a deep breath, crossing over to where he was fiddling with his controls. "Doctor?"

"Mm?" he said, not looking up.

 _He probably knows_ , Clara thought, _he always does._

"I'd like to- I have to go home."

The Doctor paused for the briefest of moments before contiuing to busy his hands on the console. He gave a soft nod and a forced smile, but would not look at her. "Yes, of course, alright," he said quickly, his voice a bit higher as he tried to act nonchalant.

"Doctor, look at me."

When he wouldn't, she placed a hand gently over his to still him. Reluctantly, and still mananging to look like a child, he lifted his gaze to her beneath his scruffy hair.

"I don't mean forever, I don't want to leave you, but- remember what you gave me? I have all this... stuff, now, inside me and I have to go see what it's all about. I don't remember what it's like to have a real home, a proper home, and I'm sure it's rubbish in comparison, but for some reason... it's all I can think about lately. So, I have to try. I have to do something, to change, to..." she couldn't begin to explain the mess that had been inside her as of late, and for once, she was out of words to say. With a sigh, she looked at him pleadingly, her expression strong but tinged with pain. "Please, try to understand."

He looked at her fondly. "Clara," he breathed, "My impossible Clara." He raised a hand to her cheek, cupping it tenderly and she leaned into his touch."You saved my life. Your wish is my command," with a flourish, he was spinning again, flipping controls and fighting back the growing ache in his hearts at the thought of her absence. He knew it was for the best for her. She had given up her life for him, and now that she had it back he expected her to stay with him in his lonely little box? But, yes, he was selfish, and he wished that she would. 

But this wasn't like Amelia, this wasn't like any of them: it wouldn't be forever. She had said those words and he would cling to them, so that for now, he could let her go. 

When they quickly arrived at Clara's London home, the one she both couldn't believe she remembered or forgot, the year was 2013. She lingered at the doorway of the TARDIS, steadying herself as she turned to face the Doctor. He was behind her, staring at his feet as they shuffled restlessly, his hands shoved tightly in his pockets. She looked at him, willing away the sadness with the knowledge that this was the right thing to do. After a moment, she threw her arms around his neck tightly, kissing his cheek and burrying her face in his neck. He quickly removed his hands from his pockets and wrapped his arms around her waist, embracing her tightly for what he knew might be that last time for quite a while.

He hated endings. He couldn't say goodbye.

"Behave yourself, yeah?" Clara said as he held her, voice choked. The Doctor could only nod half-heartedly. When she loosened her grip, thinking if she didn't now she might never, he placed her down carefully on her feet. "And don't stay away long," she warned, "I mean it."

"Promise," he said, his smile weak. He watched his feet again as she turned, unable to watch her go.

She hated endings too. But this wasn't the end. And she wouldn't say goobye.

Then, she remembered, and turned back once more, her hand still against the door.

"Doctor?" she said, her voice suddenly full of its usual quick curiosity. "Who was that girl?"

The Doctor pursed his mouth, furrowing his brows and shaking his head. "What girl?"

"The girl," Clara started, taking one step in,"The girl who did the thing with the thing," she pressed on, gesturing strangely.

The Doctor's eyes widened and he continued to shake his head. "I have no idea what you're talking about."

"When you regenerated," she continued, growing slightly agitated, "She was with Ri- Oh, oh, you don't remember..."

"Remember what? Oh- that? Yes, well, regeneration for you, soemtimes it boggles up your head. Don't always pass out, that was quite strange, but- no don't remember much past getting onto the TARDIS- why, did something unusual happen?"

Clara considered for a moment. She thought maybe it was best not to explain. And even if she did want to, she's not sure how she could explain the strange events that had occured.

"No," she finally decided, shrugging, "No, no, nothing at all. I must just have- had a weird dream, or something," she tried lamely. She shook her head. It was time to go.

"I'll see you soon," she promised, her smile genuine and calmer than before, "Don't forget."

"I could never," he promised in return.

And just like that she was gone.

 

 

~

 

_She had run._

_Run, run, run._

_She was breathing furiously as her feet hit the pavement in a rhythm that was mounting in despearation the longer she ran._

_Her chest was tight from the effort. Her head ached and her eyes burned. But they were close behind, and she wasn't about to let them catch her. Not after all this time._

_Run, run, run._

_Find a place to hide._

_Run._

_They're getting closer._

_Run. And keep on running._

 

_~_

 

Once Clara disappeared behind the TARDIS doors, the Doctor let out a sigh, turning to face the empty room. "Alone, again."

He trudged back up to the console, looking up at the monitor, and flipping a few switches, typing in a few numbers, he turned the screen to face him. 

In a flash, the same green lawn appeared, with the same ancient building, and in the distance, he could just make out two figures far off in the distance. One was dressed in flowing white, the other wore that stupid bow tie.

"Lucky bastard," he murmered to himself.

Of course he had remembered. It was blurry, fragmented, but he remembered. He didn't know why he had lied to Clara ( _Rule one_ , he thought bitterly), but he thought perhaps it would have been easier not to remember. Easier not to know that a man who was both him and not him had gotten to walk away peacefully into eternity with the love of his life. He was jealous. For here he was, alone in the silence of his little blue box, and _there_ he was happily in the arms of his wife. He understood why Clara had wanted to go home, of course he had. But his hearts were envious that everyone else seemed to have a home to go to. The Ponds were gone. His family. His River. His wife. And now Clara had left. _When will this end?_

He hadn't known who the girl was, he was telling the truth about that. But it hardly mattered to him as he continued to stare at the screen. Realizing he was causing himself furhter pain that was becoming unbearable, he flipped the monitor off, quickly fixing it so that he could never check in on that database again. If part of him, a copy of him, was with her and happy, if that was all he could have, maybe it had to be enough. But he didn't have to watch it.

The TARDIS complied, sensing the depth of his sadness. Her beautiful theif. He patted the console in gentle gratitude. "Thanks, Old Girl."

He leaned back against the railing with deep breahth, crossing his arms and feet as he looked around the oppressively empty space. "Now what?" he asked, his tone light but  drenched in lonliness.

 

 

_~_

_Run._

_She stopped in her tracks. This can't go on forever._

_She looked around frantically. Oh, but she was clever. A moment was all she needed. A moment to spot the Police Call Box nearby._

_They weren't close enough that they'd see her disappear inside it._

_Then she could disappear for real. She would send herself away in her smoke. She just needed a moment._

_Then they'd be at a loss again. For now._

_Run._

_Into the box._

_Run._

 

 

_~_

The Doctor was about to fly away, unsure of where to go ( _I can't just stay here_ ), when suddenly a figure burst through the door.

The frantic girl became startled when she walked in, clearly having expected a much smaller space, as she closed the door behind her and leaned against it in surprise.

"Oh... okay," she said, confused and murmuring. Her eyes landed on the Doctor, who hadn't been able to find words for her yet.

"Well," she said brightly, her voice rough and out of breath. She smiled at the Doctor, trying to steady her breathing as she walked up the stairs to the edge of the console, gripping the railing on either side of her for support. "Assuming this is not actually a call box, I need a lift."  

The Doctor blinked at the girl who he recognized as the stranger who had, quite literally, saved him, only an hour or so earlier.

His throat went dry in confusion, and he let out the only word that was swirling around in his mind uncontrollably.

"What?!" 

 


	3. The Runaway

"A lift," the girl repeated, as if that were obvious, "This is some sort of spaceship, isn't it?"

The Doctor could only gape as the girl walked with puporse around the console, inspecting it. When she made a full rotation, she looked back at the Doctor. "Well?" she pressed, "Can we shake a leg here, I've got company coming." She nodded towards the door, trying to get him to see that this was a serious situation, and they needed to move it.

"They- they can't just walk in the door..." he said, his face cautious and confused.

"Well, I just did," she reminded him.

"Yeah, about that..." he started, taking a few steps forward.

Before he could continue, there was a pounding against the door. The girl reacted immediately to the sound, but the Doctor was staring directly at her, ignoring the senseless banging. How did she just... _walk in_? Why would the TARDIS let her do that?

The girl, however, had gone into hyper drive as he studdied her. "Dammit," she mumbled. "Never mind, thanks for nothing."

She lifted her arm, and began typing on a very familiar device that was wrapped around her wrist.

A vortex manipulator. 

The Doctor did a double-take and rushed to her, grabbing her arm before she could get anywhere. He turned her arm back and forth between his hands, inspecting the tiny machine and making sure his tired old mind wasn't seeing things. 

"Where did you get this?" he asked suspiciously.

The girl tore her arm away, offended by his tone. She took a step back.

"None of your business," she snapped.

Before she could start typing again, the Doctor put his hands up, a motion begging her to stop. "No, hang on a minute."

He rushed back to the console before she could think better of hanging around, and flipped a few switches. The banging ceased as they were thrown into the vortex. 

The Doctor took a breath, then slowly walked around the console, gripping the edge and leaning forward as he looked at her. Her face mirrored his as she stood tall (despite her rather short height) on the defensive, watching him wearily with furrowd brows.

They stayed there for a minute, a stand off, each one waiting for the other to break.

The Doctor's curiosity got the better of him. He didn't move from his position, but finally, he spoke.

"Who are you?"

"Who wants to know?"

"We're on my ship, I think I have a right to know."

"Well, it's my name, I think I have a right not to tell you."

He straightened. She tilted her head, waiting for him to challenge her.

The Doctor let out an irritated groan, walking around the console until he was directly in front of her. He looked down at her unchanging face; he must have had six inches on her, at least. She cocked her eyebrow at him, waiting. He scratched his head in mounting frustration.

"What, are you trying to scare me?"

The Doctor felt as if he had been slapped. No, the last thing he wanted in this moment was to scare anyone. Let alone a young girl half his size. A young girl who was clearly in some sort of danger. His face fell a bit at her remark.

"Because let me tell you, I've faced a lot worse than you."

Unsure of how to respond, he started to pace away, then quickly doubled back.

"But... who are you?" he asked again. Nothing, though she shifted slightly. "Please," he tried, his face sincere.

The girl seemed taken aback by the gentleness in his voice. It seemed a genuine curiosity, and it was not the response she had been expecting.

She screwed her face up a bit, considering.

"Ari," she told him finally.

"Ari who?"

"Just Ari. That's all you get for now. And you are?"

"The Doctor."

"Just 'the Doctor?'"

"Just 'Ari?'" he countered. 

Her face stayed smooth and calm as she refused to answer. The Doctor suddenly realized that this girl, Ari, whoever she was, didn't trust him. Why would she? Of course, he was a strange man with a spaceship. But still, people had always been fairly quick to trust him in the past, he had forgotten that this was probably the more natural response.

"Okay," he said, moving on, "Who were you running from?"

Ari waited again, thinking. The truth was, she didn't trust this man, this alien, whatever he was. How could she know he wasn't part of their plan?

"If I was working with them," the Doctor offered, as if if following her train of thought, "I probably would have let them in, yeah?"

Ari's face shifted at that. She wasn't sure it was enough. But this man had a spaceship, and she could tell from her inspection the ability that was also attached to her wrist: he could travel through time. It might be helpful to throw them off her trail. Maybe a more comfortable, less jolting form of travel, if anything. And though she wouldn't admit it, she was tired. So very tired.

"Maybe," she agreed. She turned away from him, calmly walking around the console once more, fingers lightly touching various levers and buttons.

A few things crossed the Doctor's mind as he watched her. For one, his first instinct would normally be to stop any stranger touching his controls. Even if just innocently in wonder, without any purpose. But for some reason, he felt no reason to stop her at all. Even though she didn't yet trust him, he seemed to trust her. But then, she had saved him, given him to River. How bad could she be? He was about to bring that up, but very quickly stopped himself: she had a vortex manipulator. She had travelled in time. And this, clearly, was the first time she had ever seen him. Technically, she hadn't saved him at all yet. She knew nothing about him, and he knew nothing about her. But his mind continued to race. How did she get the manipulator? Who was she, really? And if she was coming into his life now, how could RIver possibly have known her? Maybe she just knew to contact her. Yes. Maybe that was it. But he couldn't be sure... so many questions, he was itching for the answers, grasping at nothing. And then a sublte sadness pierced him. Would this be another thing that was all mixed up in time? Another person he would lose track of in the wibbly-wobbly mess of it all? He shut the thought away, he couldn't bear it.

The Doctor had been so lost in thought that he hadn't seen Ari stop beside him. He looked up, a bit surprised, and she was gazing intently at him. Her face looked like his mind felt, he thought, amused. She was trying to figure him out.

"Are you alright?" she asked.

He was caught off guard by her concern.

"I'm worried about you," he responded easily, his answer startling him as much as her question.

"Huh," she mused, also caught off guard.

They stood there for a moment, considering each other again. This time, she broke the silence, her expresssion softening a bit.

"I don't know who they are," she started. As she continued, she went over to the seat she had spotted nearby, hopping onto it easily and hiding how much her feet had been screaming for her to sit down. "But they've been chasing me for a year. Over a year, maybe. I've lost track."

"Where did you get that?" The Doctor pointed to the manipulator, leaning back against the console so he could face her.

Ari looked at the device, touching it, wrapping her hand around it protectively.

"Look," she said, some of the fatigue coming through, "You seem... nice, and I appreciate your help, but, if it's okay with you, I'd like to keep some things to myself for now."

The Doctor nodded solemnly. She was tough, he could tell, but he was able to see what others probably wouldn't. He was observant. He looked at her face and could see it all, brimming just beneath the surface: how tired she was, and despite her strength, there was a part of her that was a scared little girl, who just wanted to go home. But she would be damned if she would ever let anyone see that sort of weakness, a crack in her thick skin.

"Fair enough."

She let out a sigh of relief, and looked around her, taking in her surroundings. He would figure her out, he had to. He was overwhelmed by his desire to protect this girl from whatever was coming after her. But for now, he'd let that pass. Over a year of running. She needed a break. And really, so did he. 

"Well," he said, slapping on his cheery demeanor and clapping his hands, "This is the TARDIS, that stands for Time and Relative Dimmension in Space, bigger on the inside, obviously, it can go anywhere in the universe, and-"

"It can travel in time, yeah, I can tell..." she started, moving to the console again. She winced slightly as her feet hit the ground. He noticed.

His brows furrowed. How could she _tell_? 

"Yes, well," he decided not to push it, for now. This was just the distraction he needed. A person to cheer up, to take on a marvelous adventure. And he wagered she needed it just as much as he did.

"Where do you want to go?"

She smiled softly inspite of herself, letting out another tired breath and shaking her head before looking up at him.

"Anywhere but here."

 

  

 

 


	4. Spaceman

"Well, it did _start off_ as a normal day."

"Ha. Define normal."

To be fair, considering how quickly they usually found themselves in trouble, the day _had_ started off as fairly calm, and sure, even normal.

They had landed in the Gamma Forests, the Doctor being ever-so-careful not to land in an era where he might encounter a younger version of himself. They were exploring the paths through the infamous Golden Trees, where the bark glitters in the sunshine and the shadow, and you can follow a trail hidden amongst foliage and come upon a sacred waterfall, whose color echoes that of the leaves. They had somehow managed to make it all the way there, only encountering the problem on the way back. Trouble in the form of some angry members of the Giri, a Northern tribe of the Forests.

Now, they were bound standing back to back with twine-like rope, strong and untearable, and left to wait in a muddy underground room, the only source of light coming from a couple of low burning torches.

The Doctor was about to open his mouth as if to respond to Ari with a definition, but thought better of it, shaking it off and letting out a huff. He set his mind back to finding the way out.

There was always a way out, after all.

 _Best go back to the beginning_ , he thought. Furrowing his brows, he let his eyes roam around the room, trying to keep up with the speed of his calculations. He began to mutter aloud: his eyes scanning for a clue that would lead to an escape, his mind looking for a clue as to how they got here in the first place.

“What was that they said? Back near the waterfall, something about alert, high alert, gen-”

“Gen Zero. High alert,” Ari finished for him. He was too distracted to notice the sigh she breathed as she said it.

“Right, right, right. What is that? What does that mean? They said it when we were taken at the Silver City, too, and the Planet of the Dome, and, actually...”

She shifted uncomfortably, and this time, he noticed.

“You hear that a lot, don’t you?”

There was silence. He felt her shrug.

The Doctor took a deep breath, exhaling slowly. Of course, she wouldn’t give him a straight answer. What else was new? He began muttering again, focusing instead on the details that had preceded their capture.

“I know you’re angry with me, you don’t have to pretend that you’re not.”

He let out a frustrated groan. She was observant, and it startled him sometimes just how aware she was. The truth was, it wasn’t anger. Not at her. He was trying not to get wound up, but he couldn’t help it. They had been traveling together for quite some time now, getting into and out of countless dangerous predicaments, together, and still she said so little about who she was or what had happened to her. He continued to mumble and squirm, the time passing itching at him in a way that it seemed to be doing to her as well. He truly didn’t know what would have to happen at this point for her to trust him, or what must have happened to cause her to become so cautious in the first place.

He turned his head slightly as if to look at her.

“I’m not angry with you, Ari,” and his voice was gentle as he added honestly, “I’m sad.”

Her breath caught briefly and she shifted again; this time, she was the one taken by surprise.

“Sad?”

“Yes.”

She took a moment, considering, and he wished he could look at her face. He was much better when he was able to read faces.

“Okay,” she started carefully, “Why sad?”

“Because after all this time, you still don’t trust me.”

“It’s not that I don’t trust you, don’t be stupid-”

“And it makes me sad to think of what you must have been through to become so guarded in the first place.”

There was more quiet in the empty space, and the Doctor did what he hated to do: he waited.

Ari’s mind was buzzing about, going through a long list of reasons why she should and shouldn’t tell him the truth, or the little she knew of it. As brave as she was, as unwaveringly strong she had made herself, inside she beat back the feeling of just being a scared little girl running from the monsters in her nightmares. She refused to let the mask drop, the tough skin she had built up, her heart like stone... but she had been bearing the brunt of an unknown hatred on her own for so long now, and all she wanted, when she dared to let herself admit it, was for someone to take a little bit of that weight.

“Doctor, you have to understand...” she started, fighting off any uprise of emotion, “I’ve been doing this on my own for a long time now, and-”

“So let me help you,” he pleaded. If she had been in front of him, he would have grabbed her face, shook her by the shoulders, something, anything to make her see that she could trust him. “You’re not alone, anymore, Ari. You have me. And I want to make it better. But I need all the information, please. You have to trust me.”

He could feel her resolve beginning to break as her breathing changed. She wanted to let go. He could feel it.

“I don’t... I barely have any information to begin with...” she admitted, stalling.

“Then whatever you do have. Just... tell me what happened.”

Ari took a deep breath, dropping her head back for a moment and pinching her eyes shut, before straightening, eyes determined, and beginning her story with a slow release of breath. She couldn’t keep running this way forever, and if she wanted to find a way out this mess, she was going to have to take a chance.

“It started on my birthday. Last year, my eighteenth. I woke up early because there was all this... noise coming from downstairs. I walked out to the top of the stairs and I could hear people mumbling, swearing, ripping the house apart. I went over to my mom’s room to see if she was-” she swallowed, “and she was gone. I don’t know where, I don’t know how, but she was gone. So I ran. I climbed out my window, and I heard them coming after me, and I ran. Well, I grabbed my fancy bracelet first...”

“Yeah, about that, where did you get it?” he asked, unable to stop himself.

“It was a gift from someone. A man, I’d seen him before. In the shadows on the streets, but not his face. Never his face. He gave this to me, told me I might need it. Warned me, really. And it’s the first thing I thought of when I knew I had to leave. Don’t know why, really, it just popped into my head and I knew I had to take it.”

“Instinct,” the Doctor remark, relieved in retrospect that she had thought to take it.

“I guess,” Ari shrugged.

She went through the recount with surprising ease. But then, she had really never stopped thinking about it, constantly trying to figure out what the Doctor now was: where it had all gone wrong. And who. Or what. And why.

“Anyways, they were about to corner me, and I just... pressed a few buttons. Ended up in Scotland. But I didn’t know what I was doing, and it took too long. One of them had a hand on my arm, and I took them with me. I shook them on the next try. Wasn’t until I landed up on a spaceship in 5023 that I realized what I was dealing with.”

“Time travel,” the Doctor nodded.

“Not too shabby,” Ari added light-heartedly.

“But then, how do they keep finding you? Who were they?" The Doctor was thinking out loud. "What did they look like?”

“I don’t know. They looked like normal people, the first time it happened, at least. All in these... dark, purple suits. Then, just like that, it was everywhere. People, aliens, _things_... they’d find me, and someone would call out ‘Gen Zero, high alert,’ and...” she let out a sigh, “I was running again.”

The Doctor’s mind was whirling a mile a minute, trying to connect the mess of unfitting pieces, but it didn’t make sense. She must have been a criminal, or a prisoner, something...

“I didn’t do anything wrong, if that’s what you’re thinking,” she remarked, stopping him in his mental tracks. “Nothing at all,” she added bitterly under her breath.

And of course she hadn’t; if anything, he thought it must have been a misunderstanding gone terribly, terribly wrong. But he was desperate for some sort of answer, or missing link, or something that he could use. He got the feeling he was missing something big and obvious. If he just asked the right question...

“I just don’t understand...”

“You and me both,” Ari agreed.

The startling sound of footsteps shook the low ceiling, dirt crumbling on their heads as the steps moved purposefully over them.

They were out of time.

“Uhm, okay, okay, gotta find a loophole, gotta find something, gotta find...”

He was scrambling, in every sense, turning them in circles as he scanned the ragged walls.

“Stop!” Ari suddenly whispered harshly. “Hold still, bend over.”

“What? Why would I-”  
  
“Just do it!”

The Doctor complied, as he had nothing to offer, and suddenly Ari had flipped herself backwards, rolling over the Doctor’s back and dropping to her feet over his left shoulder. The force pulled the bound rope painfully over their shoulders, catching their necks briefly before falling to the ground.

The Doctor looked about at the limp, abandoned rope, rolling his shoulders quickly at their newfound freedom. Both of them still had their hands tied by the wrists, but they were detached, and most importantly, their legs were free.

“Okay,” the Doctor mused.

“Yeah, don’t know why I didn’t think of that sooner,” Ari admitted. “Run?”

The Doctor smiled in agreement, “Run.”

****

~

****

And once again, they had managed to escape. Barely, but still. They had escaped.

Ari had impressively faced one of the Giri’s swords head on, bringing her wrists down upon the blade and releasing her tight binds in a swift cut without even a scratch. She freed the Doctor’s hands as they paused for breath behind a large tree, and he distracted the natives poking at the TARDIS when they reached it with magic tricks on his sonic as she slipped inside. He followed in a flash.

Once inside, gasping for breath, Ari raced to the console without thinking, desperate to get out of there, and suddenly emotionally more raw than she would like thanks to speaking her story out loud.

The Doctor blinked, then was by her side, “No! What are you doing?”

“Getting us out of here,” she responded, as if that were obvious.

“But you- you can’t fly the TARDIS!”  
  
“Actually, it’s pretty straightforward,” she countered, reaching for a lever.

He grabbed her arm firmly, stopping her before she got there. She ripped it away, her eyes defensive.

“Oi, watch it spaceman!”

The Doctor’s face fell. He felt as if he had been splashed in the face with cold water. The memory of fiery red hair, a familiar voice, came crashing into his memory. He shook his head, clearing it, and gaped at her.

 **  
**“What did you say? **”**


	5. Of Then & Now & Always

Everything went still. Ari stared at him. 

"What?" 

"What did you just say, what did you just call me?" 

The Doctor looked at her intently, scanning her face, all but holding his breath as he waited for her to respond. The question he might have been missing was suddenly blaring loudly in his head.  

"What, 'spaceman'?" The Doctor began to pace in front of her. "Is that some sort of derogatory Timelord insult or something, because in the real world, you _are_ a spaceman, so-" 

"Ari," he said importantly, stopping in front of her. His intensity made her retreat a bit, but her feet remained firmly in place, "What's your surname?"

"What does that have to do with-" 

"JUST-" he started, losing it quickly and taking a breath to calm himself, "Tell me. Please."

Ari looked back at him and wanted to smack him for getting so upset with her over nothing, then having the nerve to make such demands. But something about the way he was looking at her with such concern and urgency over something that seemed so simple... she decided to cave on this one. 

"Can you at least tell me why you need to know?" she asked seriously. 

"It's important. It... it might be the piece that's missing." It wasn't completely a lie. It was very possible that if he got the answers he was suddenly expecting, it would be a big step in the right direction. But the Doctor would be lying to himself as well if he didn't admit there were far more personal reasons for his inquiry.  

Ari took a deep breath. What a day this had been. She was exhausted and frustrated and trying to buck back up again, and the universe kept stopping her in her tracks; but she had decided to trust him so far, so why stop now? Maybe it was the timing, the insanity of the day's events, the look on his face as he tried not to shake the answer out of her. He was the first person who had cared about her in a long while, and for now, that was enough. More than she had hoped for in some time, certainly. 

She straightened herself, telling him the name she had been hiding for so long. 

"Noble. Aria Noble, actually. That's my name."

 It felt oddly good to say it out loud. She always took pride in her name. She had missed it. 

The Doctor's hearts dropped to his stomach, and he turned away from her to hide the water welling in his old and tired eyes, looking ever older with the sudden resurgence of memories long past.  

"Doctor?"  

"Your mother," the Doctor pressed on, back to her and voice trembling slightly. Most people probably wouldn't notice, but he thought Ari probably would. "Your mother, what's her name?" 

Ari tried not to succumb to the feeling of nausea that suddenly punched her in the gut at the mention of her mother: the mother who was gone, lost somewhere or... who knows what. She shuddered at the thought, but quickly shook it off, straightening and answering in a voice that was too steady.  

"Donna. Her name is Donna." 

The Doctor choked back a sound fighting to escape his throat, a small sound that choked him as he brought the back of his hand up to his mouth.  

Donna Noble. His Donna. His best friend. And all this time, in his TARDIS... 

 _Her_ _daughter_. 

Ari shifted uncomfortably. All of this was more than she could bear, and she fidgeted for a moment as he continued to look away from her. 

"Doctor, please," she asked, her voice softer, sadder than she usually allowed, "What is it, is something...?"

But she let the questions trail away from her as the Doctor abruptly turned and rushed over to her, scooping her up in his arms and hugging her close, spinning her and tightening the embrace as he laughed through a few tears he let fall down his face. She was startled, but soon returned the hug; the child in her long needing such a warm and comforting gesture. But even as she did her face remained confused. 

After a few moments, he placed her down, his voice still full of a painful joy as he laughed. He placed his hands on either side of her face, kissing her forehead before retreating back into his own dance about the console, clapping his hands together when he finished his lap and studying her face with heightened interest.  

The sudden onslaught of emotions brought tears to Ari's eyes that she didn't understand. She gaped at him, laughing awkwardly at the inside joke she was clearly missing out on. 

"Aria _NOBLE_!" he exclaimed again, shaking his head, "Daughter of Donna Noble and... wait, wait, wait... what about your dad, shouldn't your name be-? Oh, but that would be just like Donna to make sure you took hers," he corrected himself, smiling fondly at the thought.

"Yeah... yeah, she said Temple wasn't strong enough for me," Ari said quickly, trying to catch up.

"But I don't understand," the Doctor continued, a million questions burning excitedly through him. "You're American."

"Yeah well- my parents moved to New York after I was born," she answered quickly, still not following.

"And your dad, Shaun wasn't it? Are they happy, are they good?"

"My dad died in a car accident when I was five."

 

"Oh," the Doctor said, slowing slightly, "I'm sorry." 

"Doctor, I'm not... I don't understand. You know my mother?" she asked finally, disbelieving.  

The Doctor's high was slowly fading, and he looked at her, the ache in his chest strong and nagging. "I did," he admitted, his voice low and airy.  

Ari shook her head. "How? No, no. No, it doesn't make sense, she would have told me about you, she... she wanted me to do such incredible things, she never... she would have said..." 

"Ari." the Doctor stopped her gently, placing his hands on her upper arms. His voice was heavy, but there was a warm smile spreading on his lips. "Aria Noble." He hesitated for a moment. "Let me tell you a story."

 

~

 

And the Doctor told Ari the story of her mother. He told her how she had saved countless species, planets, galaxies... He told her how brace she was, how brilliant, how funny and wonderful and full of compassion. He told her, setting his own emotions aside, how her story with him had come to an end. He told her how she was the most important woman in the universe.  

And for the first time in a year, Ari allowed herself to cry.  

He sat beside her on the steps by the console, watching her wipe the tears away with the backs of her small hands.

He looks at her face. He remembers his friend. 

After some silence, she starts to laugh. Uncontrollable, infectious laughter that the Doctor gapes at. He smiles but his eyes are wide; he's not sure how he should be reacting. Perhaps he's sent her into madness. 

"I'm sorry," she said, breathless and eyes still wet, her grin wide. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I just... I'm happy." 

Her face indicated that she knew it sounded ridiculous. 

"Oh," the Doctor tried, his smile still unsure, "Okay." 

She went on. "Doctor... my mother... she was always, just, _itching_ for more in life. She became so much, and still, she always wanted more. To explore the stars, even, see the world from back to front. She used to tell me stories, when I was a little girl, about running off and having adventures. To know that she actually got to live that, even if she couldn't remember it..."

Ari took a breath, her body steadying and calming. "She always told me to be amazing, but- the way she said it was like, she always knew I would be." 

Her face fell a bit, her current situation and the turn her life had taken settling back into her. "And now..." 

The Doctor took Ari's face in his hands once more, sensing the doubt in her voice as she continued. "Ari. _Aria_ ," he decided, adding, "That's a brilliant name, strong, full of magic. Aria, Donna was right. She _was_ ," he insisted, "You _are_ amazing. Everything that's happened and you're still here, still surviving, even though the universe is chasing you, you have never given up. Never stopped. You kept running. Through time and space and things you couldn't and didn't and don't understand. Oh, my dear. You. Are. _Amazing_." 

And then, Aria let herself go, and the scared little girl wrapped her arms around the Doctor's waist, leaning her head against his shoulder and holding on tightly. The tears fell, but the stubborn part of her made sure that they were silent.  

The Doctor was startled by her collapse, his arms lifting at the surprise. But quickly, he willingly wrapped her in them, holding her close and rocking her slightly. He knew she was trying to hide the crying, but he could feel the slight tremor in her body. He kissed the top of her head gently, and stayed with her until her breathing changed, and he realized she was asleep. 

Carefully, he stood, lifting Aria into his arms, her head resting against his chest, and carried her down the corridor, to one of the TARDIS' bedrooms. 

He rested her gently onto the bed, and sat down beside her, watching her for a moment as she slept heavily. It didn't take a brilliant mind like his to recognize that she was not someone who had come upon sleep often these past few years. He brushed a strand of hair from her weary face ( _too weary, for a face so young_ , he thought) and sighed as he looked about the room. 

It wasn't one he had seen before, but the TARDIS had guided him to the closest door that would be of use. The bed was simple, the comforter dark and soft and blue. Otherwise it was fairly plain, fairly empty. His eyes settled on the one other focal point in the room besides the bed: a subtle marking on the far wall. He got up and walked over to it, inspecting. 

It was a small cluster of stars, stenciled in gold paint. He traced it lightly with his fingers, wondering why it was there.  

He took one look back at Aria before heading back to the console room, leaning against the controls and feeling the weight of the day settle upon him.  

He looked up sharply as he suddenly remembered something Aria had said.  

 _"She was gone."_  

Donna. His Donna. She was missing, gone without a trace. His mind was suddenly racing uncontrollably: he had to find her. 

He thought at once of everything they had done together, who she had been for him, and then everything he had done with her daughter. And everything she had become to him. And everything he had become to her. 

Donna Noble needed him. And he would be damned if he would let her down twice.  

Damned if he would let Aria down.

He was about to start fussing with the controls, not entirely sure where he wanted to go or needed to, and as he turned the monitor, he realized they had in fact left the Gamma Forests. They were in the vortex. And that meant that Aria, when she had taken to the cotnorls, had sent them there. 

But... _how_? How could she fly the TARDIS? It couldn't possibly be straightforward like she claimed. The fact that he had often struggled with his dear Old Girl was proof of that. His ego refused to let him believe it. Although, this certainly wasn't the first time someone else had so easily shown him up on his own ship. 

And his mind wandered to River. 

He wished she was there with him now. He always did; missing her was a never ending way of life now, a dull ache that throbbed inside him constantly. But in moments like this, it was is brought forth, inescapable. Moments where he would never admit he needed help, but he wouldn't have to, because she would be beside him, rolling her eyes and doing it anyways. 

 _River would like Aria_ , he thought. She was strong, and oh so very clever. And was managing to keep him in his place like she had.  

Donna Noble's daughter. _Flying_ the _TARDIS_. She would be proud. 

He was snapped out of his reverie then. Literally. 

The TARDIS jolted and spun without him touching anything, and suddenly, just as harshly, it landed.  

He crawled up with a groan from where he had fallen. 

"Okay, now what?" He looked at the monitor. "Where have you taken me?" 

But the picture wouldn't appear, and the screen was stubbornly fuzzy. He banged at the side of it to no avail, "Oh, come on!"  

Aria, it seemed, was too exhausted to be woken by the brief jumble. He hadn't the hearts to disturb her rest, and he felt it best he see where they were on his own. This was not the time to find themselves in more danger. Especially her. 

Cautiously, he pushed open the doors, coughing at the smoke surrounding him as he stepped out. As it settled, he could see the TARDIS had oddly landed in a perfectly normal-looking living room. His eyes scanned the area and he finally saw who was sitting on a flowery green couch right in front of him, a cup of tea in hand, head cocked to the side as she stared at him. 

"Well," Clara said, "I see you still know how to make an entrance."

 


	6. Sparks & Stars

Startled at first, the Doctor merely blinked at her. 

"What, no hello after all this time? It's been nearly a year since I've seen you last."

Clara got up from where she sat, placing her cup down on the coffee table, and crossed over to him. She studied his face for a moment.

"And you didn't mean to come here at all, did you?" she concluded with a smirk.

"What?" the Doctor said, coming to his senses and trying to recover, "No, no, of course not, I-"

Clara shook her head. "Oh, shut up and hug me, you idiot."

With that, she flung her arms around his neck, and he quickly returned the embrace. For a moment he was just overjoyed to see his old friend, regardless of why the TARDIS had decided to bring him here.

She pulled away, tousling his scruffy hair and laughing. He grinned down at her, wrinkling his nose in response. 

"So, what kind of trouble have you gotten into this time? The TARDIS wouldn't have brought you here for no reason. I'm guessing you need my help? Or am I in mortal danger again?"

The Doctor considered. Of course, he thought, the TARDIS had sent him here to recruit her. It was sweet of his Old Girl, and thrilling to think of having Clara back with him after so long, and the truth was, both he and Aria might be too close to all this to think clearly. It would be good to have a third person who wasn't so personally involved. But still, he was weary of putting Clara in danger again, especially now that she had the home that she had longed for...

"Clara, you don't have to-"

"Doctor," she stopped him, "I told you I didn't want to be gone forever, and I'm not saying I want to leave here forever, either, but... I'd say I'm up for another adventure or two."

He tried not to let his smile get to big, to hide how much he wanted her to come with him, and asked her one more time: "Are you sure? Because I don't even know what we'd be getting ourselves into..."

Clara giggled at that. "Do you ever?" she countered, crossing around him and into the TARDIS. 

The Doctor let his smile break free then, clapping his hands together and following her into his ship.

"So, who are you traveling with now?" she asked, walking around the console and looking at all the buttons and levers. It was all so familiar, it felt like she had never left.

"Oh, you'll love her. She's sleeping right now, but she's brilliant. Almost too brilliant sometimes, I think." He followed her around, coming to a stop halfway and leaning against the rail. She came to a stop with him, looking at him and wating for him to speak from her spot against the console.

"Which brings me to what's happened," he said, the weight of it evident in his voice.

And he told Clara the story. Told her about Aria, her running. About Donna, and her disappearance. He told her everything, and by the end, it had so exhausted him to relive it all that he ended up sitting on the nearby chair, his shoulders tense and hunched and his lids heavy. He took a deep breath when he finished.

"So that's that. I don't know where she's gone, I don't know why, or even who... I've got nothing."

Clara watched him, her own heart pained by the size of sadness. 

"You've got me," she offered, "That's a start."

The Doctor looked up at her with a half-hearted smile. "Thank you," he said, voice hoarse.

"Anytime."

The Doctor rubbed his face in his hands. His age showed greatly in his current state of worry. 

"But first, you need sleep. And frankly, I could do with some shut-eye myself."

"You know I rarely sleep," the Doctor scoffed with a grimace, waving her off.

" _Rarely_ , not never. And I'm guessing it's been a while."

The Doctor rolled his eyes and grumbled like a teenager as Clara patted him on the shoulder and walked towards the stairs that would lead her deeper into the TARDIS. She turned back for a moment, continuing backwards. 

"Besides, we can't really do anything until this Aria wakes-" As she turned, her body collided with another, that had been rushing down the stairs.

Aria landed flush against Clara as they fell, Clara catching herself on her elbows briefly before ending up completely back against the floor, pinned down by this stranger with a familiar face. 

Aria looked down at Clara, as surprised as she was, her breath quick as her shock faded quickly and she smiled faintly. "Oh," she breathed, "hello."

"Uh... hi..." Clara managed. 

Aria pushed herself up, and Clara shook the slight wave of loss her body felt when she did, chalking it up to shock. She took the hand Aria offered her and allowed herself to be pulled up. 

"Sorry about that," Aria said, still a bit breathless, "I didn't see you there."

"No worries," Clara responded after a moment.

Something hung in the air between them as they looked at each other, but neither really knew what it was.

"Are you two alright?" the Doctor asked, coming between them.

"Yeah," Aria assured him, "Fine."

"Fine," Clara echoed, still staring at Aria.

She looked back at her and grinned, extending her hand, "I'm Aria, by the way."

"Clara," she replied, shaking it. 

Suddenly, it hit her, and Clara pulled her in slightly by the hand. "Wait a minute," she started, "You..."

"Right!" the Doctor said, "Well, now that introductions are out of the way, everyone off to bed."

"But, I just woke up..."

"Yes, and you weren't asleep for nearly enough time to recharge. Back to bed."

"I'm not battery-operated, and I feel fine!" Aria protested.

"Now," he insisted, pointing down the hall. She stared for a moment, challenging, but he met her glare head-on. 

"Fine," she conceded. Then turning to Clara, her voice became gentler. "Nice to meet you."

There was something in her smile that pinned Clara down, but still she couldn't place it. Instead, she responded with a weak "You too," still somewhat stunned. Aria turned once more to the Doctor with a rebellious stare, then turned on her heel and headed back to the room she had just emerged from.

Once she was out of earshot, Clara turned to the Doctor.

"That's the girl! The girl who did the thing with the thing, who was there when you-"

He stopped her with two gentle hands on her arms. "Shh, I know," he said in a tense whisper, looking over her shoulder to make sure Aria had really gone.

"Clara, listen to me," he said importantly, "Remember what I told you? Aria's been using time travel, and she- the girl we met when I regenerated is a future version of her. She hasn't lived that yet, she doesn't even know she will."

"So she's never met me then?"

"No."

"But I've met her."

"Yes."

"Right. Got it," she nodded, used to the weird stuff by now. 

For some reason, it made her stomach twist a bit that she had seen Aria before, but Aria had not seen her. She shook it off, thinking.

"But, I don't understand, Doctor- River knew her. How could River know her?"

The Doctor sighed. "I don't know," he admitted, "But I bet we're going to find out."

 

~

 

Clara went into the same room she used to sleep in, the TARDIS having restored it for her easily. She had been tired, especially after the not-so-short story the Doctor had told her to get her up to speed. But for some reason, she couldn't sleep. She lie awake in the darkness, beneath her crimson comforter, staring up at the ceiling that had been made to look like the night sky. 

She watched the stars twinkle, her mind in a sort of half-dream twilight, and thought.

She thought of her life this past year, of how nice it had been to have a family, a home, how new and warm and special. And she thought of her adventures with the Doctor, how coming back onto the TARDIS had oddly felt like coming home, too. She thought of the words the Doctor had said, and convinced herself she was attempting to put some of the pieces together, processing all the information. But mostly, she thought about Aria.

She was trying to figure it out, that's what she told herself. Why the feeling of her hand against her cheek a year ago still lingered on her skin. Why when she kissed her hand with such familiarity and longing, she had suddenly known to trust her. Why it still bothered her as she lay there that she looked at her now like she didn't know he at all.

 

 _Well, she doesn't know me_ , she thought, _and I don't know her either, so what gives?_

But there was a caring, and a knowledge, and look in her eyes the last time they had met that wasn't there now that she, absurdly, missed. 

And then, there was the way her body fit into hers when she fell. Her smile, as she looked down at her...

 _I'm exhausted_ , she told herself, biting her lip and turning over to bury her head in her pillow. With whatever energy she had left, she willed herself to sleep.

 

~

 

At some point, not too long after Clara had gone to bed, Aria tiptoed her way back into the console room, which appeared to be empty. She had donned a new, warm pair of sweats and a tank top the TARDIS had laid out for her, her bare feet and natural ability to sneak making it easy to enter quietly. 

She walked up to the monitor, swinging it towards her and leaning in to switch it on.

"And what do you think you're doing?"

She jumped at the voice, which she quickly realized had come from below her. She looked down over the railing to see the doctor, goggles on his head, looking up at her disapprovingly. 

She pouted. "Shouldn't you be in bed?"

"Shouldn't _you_?" he countered, finishing up with some wires. He took off his goggles as he walked around and up to her. 

'I told you I wasn't tired," she murmured, crossing her arms.

"Aria-"

"Doctor, listen, I just... I can't sleep, alright, I'm not tired."

"Then why are there circles under your eyes?" he asked, tracing one lightly with his thumb.

Aria sighed. "I can't. Sleep," she repeated.

"Is that why you were running down the hall earlier?"

"I just... had a nightmare, whatever, it's not a big deal," she said with an attempt at sounding causal.

"You have those a lot, don't you?"

The Doctor's forehead was creased in concern. Aria refused to meet his eyes, rolling her foot distractedly beneath her.

"What were you going to do with the monitor?"

"Nothing," she lied. And she lied well, but the Doctor didn't believe her. It was a half-hearted attempt, at best, anyways. He was going to press it further, but she looked so tired, and for some reason, he wanted her to get rest more than he wanted answers. At least for now.

"Here, let me help you."

The Doctor lead her back to her room, sitting beside her again as she got under the covers. He pulled them up so that she was snugly tucked in.

"Now, close your eyes," he instructed.

She sighed, but did as she was told. The Doctor put his fingertips gently against her temples and quietly dipped into her mind, wrapping her subconscious up in a sort of temporary psychic blanket, and ensuring that she would get a few hours sleep. Her face relaxed instantly, and he knew it had worked.

Smiling at her resting form, he stood to leave, but something on the wall stopped him before he could. He walked over to where he had previously noticed the cluster of gold stars, and marveled at it.

"Huh."

There were now about twice as many stars as there had been the last time.

The cluster was growing. 

 


	7. The Return

The problem wasn't that he didn't know where to start; the problem was that he did.

He had tried to avoid it, taking the three of them to dozens of other places that could lead them to where they could find Donna, retracing their steps on past adventures-gone-wrong for clues. It was unlikely that there would be anything of value to find, but still, they tried. He was stalling.

The Doctor knew that they were going to have to go back to Aria's home, to the place where it all started, if they ever wanted to find Donna.

"If we have to go, we go," Aria told him without question. The strength was back in her eyes, that fierce determination in her the Doctor both adored and feared.

"It's incredibly dangerous, Aria, I'm sure they have a trace on you there, whoever they are..."

Aria rolled her eyes at his warning. He pressed on.

"And if they've been following you through time, they will have made it a trace that extends through all of the future and the past... everywhere, it will be-"

"Infinite, I get it," Aria interrupted stubbornly, "I don't care."

The Doctor sighed. He hadn't expected anything else from her, but he just had to make sure she understood this wasn't a simple visit home. This was probably the most dangerous place she could be going. But she knew as well as he did: they didn't have a choice.

Clara, who had been standing beside Aria with her arms crossed as she listened, raised her eyebrows and smirked in approval.

"Agreed."

Aria smiled at her in return. Hey eyes held that same..  _thing_  again, that thing that Clara couldn't place, that thing that Aria probably wasn't even aware of. It was brief, fleeting, but it sent a gentle shiver through her.  _It must be cold in here_ , she thought.

They both turned their determined faces back to the Doctor, who grinned, and sprung into action.

"Right then," he said, clapping his hands and spinning round. "Off we go."

 

~

They landed somewhat unsteadily at Aria's home in upstate New York. It wasn't Manhattan, so it was possible without tearing a hole in the universe, but it was close enough to make it a less-than-pleasant journey. They landed about three months after the initial attack, the Doctor hoping that would have been a sufficient enough amount of time to make them think she wasn't coming back there anytime soon.

It was a simple but beatutiful two-story home, greyish-blue in color, on a street with many houses of similarly modest size, but each unique in design. It was a comfortable looking neighborhood, but not show-offy. Comfortable in looks, but the Doctor felt immediately unsettled by something unnamable in the air. Something wrong. He grimaced at the house, and Aria, with forced and even breaths, bounded forward towards her door.

"Hey, hey, hey!" The Doctor called out to her.

But Aria wasn't listening, so he ran to follow her into the house, Clara close behind him, as the three of them entered and he quickly shut the door. He pulled out his sonic, waving it about to survey the space. There was something here alright, a mark or alarm ready to alert the chasers at any moment.

Aria began roaming around the eerily silent space, dishes still in the sink, stuff still scattered, her birthday cake gone terribly bad in the fridge. Her breathing was becoming labored: she was home, and she simultaneously felt relieved, nostalgic, and sick to her stomach.

On the one hand, she never thought she'd see home again. She had come to that conclusion only a month or so into running. But still, it brought back the memories of... well, everything. And most of all, the reminder of the thing still lost. Her mother.

She jumped slightly as she felt two hands on her arms. She relaxed quickly, turning her head to see Clara's concerned face beside hers.

"Are you alright?"

The warmth of her hands on her skin and the care in her voice were too distracting right now. Aria wanted to let herself fall apart beneath them, but this wasn't the time. Quickly, she shook her head and gave a weak smile as she wriggled out of her grasp with a brisk, "Yeah, fine." With that, she continued her lap through the lower level of the house, and with a steadying breath, headed up the stairs.

Clara was left with a slight pit in her stomach. It hurt her to see Aria like this, and even more so to feel such coldness from her.

Ever since they had started on this journey, Aria and Clara had fallen into an easy friendship. They inspired each other's passion and excitement, were clever enough to constantly challenge each other, each girl trying to top the other with every step. But there were moments, moments where there was something else and she both lived for and dreaded when they came. Lived for the excitement, and feared the parts of it she didn't understand.

And now, as she moved to follow Aria's lead up the stairs, she found herself suddenly thinking again of the first time she met her. She wanted to remind Aria of it, of the closeness, the familiarity she had shown her, for as close as they had become, there was still something unnamable missing, and it bothered Clara. And in the moments where the depths of Aria's darkness shown through, she outright longed for it. But Aria hadn't lived that scene yet. So she bit her tongue, gripped the railing, and forced herself back into the task at hand, purposefully climbing the stairs.

Meanwhile, the Doctor had already wandered to the second level himself, following the lead of his screwdriver. He found himself in what was clearly Donna's room, and tried to ignore the way his hearts contracted as he was flooded with memories of what was, and the fears of what now could be.

There were photographs everywhere, and drawings put up adoringly on the deep but vibrant purple walls, drawn by a child's hands. The Doctor smiled fondly as he examined them, full of vivid colors and rather outlandish images. Well, for a human, anyways. Even before all hell broke lose, Aria was an adventurer, ever-thirsting for more. Just like her mother.

His eyes fell on the lavender bedspread, which was mussed and unmade. It worried him.  _She had to be alive_ , he told himself. The alternative was unthinkable. Absentmindedly, he opened the drawer at her nightstand, needing to keep himself busy. He did a double take when he saw a chocolate-colored, leather-bound journal tucked safely inside. He looked around, ensuring that Aria wasn't there, and grabbed the journal quickly, tucking it safely into his back pocket (bigger on the inside, as usual).

Aria was standing in her bedroom, looking around as if lost. She was trying to remember what she was here to do, but everything was so mixed up in itself that she was having trouble concentrating. Clara, unbeknownst to her, was leaning against the open doorway, watching her sadly.

Aria moved to her old, white-wood desk, homework papers still uncompleted (as they usually were anyways, thanks to her restless nature). She dragged her fingers over it, until she hit a bump beneath one of the scattered sheets. Her breath hitched for a moment as she realized what it was, and she calmed herself before removing it from its hiding place.

She looked down at the gold chain in her hands, holding it delicately, and fingering the flat gold piece that dangled from it fondly.

Willing the water out of her eyes, she went to hook it behind her neck. She fumbled, frustration building within her as she continued to fight the onslaught of emotions that were working about inside her today. But hands softly covered hers as Clara took over, suddenly behind her once more, fastening it easily and letting her hands fall slowly over Aria's shoulders, tracing gently down her arms before letting them fall to her side. Aria turned to her slowly, and was unsurprised by how close she found her face to Clara's.

"Thank you," she breathed.

Clara smiled warmly, the concern still showing in her furrowed brows. She let her eyes wander down to the charm now hanging on Aria's chest. Carefully, she brought her own hand up and ran her fingers along the delicate etching on the gold metal. Her fingers grazed Aria's bare skin as she did, feeling the warmth there, and the slightly elevated rhythm of her heartbeat. It made her throat go a bit dry as she looked back up to meet Aria's gaze. Her lips were slightly parted as she watched Clara.

"It's beautiful," Clara managed, her voice airy but somehow weighted.

And whatever that  _thing_  was, it was suddenly there again, present not just in her eyes, but almost suffocating in the air around them. Their faces had become somehow closer without either girl realizing how or why. But before they could register anything else, there was a loud whirring sound vibrating in the walls, and they snapped out of it, suddenly very aware of their surroundings. The Doctor appeared in the doorway in a flash. Despite the clear warning the alarm sound intended, he was smiling through his urgency.

"Right!" he said, grabbing both their arms and flinging them out the door, "Time to go!"

They were startled, but knew by now to run when it was time to run, and not linger too much to wonder why.

Aria stopped quickly at the top of the stairs, putting her arm out to stop Clara tumbling down them. There were three men in the same suits she remembered so well waiting for them at the bottom of the landing, two of them with some sort of gun trained on the trio, the one in the center standing calmily with his hands folded in front of him.

"Aria, my dear," he said, his voice like acid and smooth as marble, "We've been expecting you."

The Doctor moved to pull them both behind him, stepping in protectively. He knew that whatever they needed her for, they needed her alive. But still, he could see the rage writhing inside Aria at the sight of them, and thought it best to try and temper the situation.

"Well, you know," the Doctor said casually, "She's been a bit busy, what with you lot chasing her around all of space and time. Which reminds me, by the way, just why  _have_  you been doing that?"

"Oh, Doctor," the man said with an easy laugh. Too easy. "That's really none of your business."

The Doctor's lip twitched slightly as he tried to remain calm. "I beg to differ."

Behind him, Aria was silently seething, and silently moving. She carefully removed the vortex manipulator from her wrist, and with sure but gentle hands, took Clara's and fastened it on her own. She typed quickly, and when Clara looked up at her in question, she mouthed the words " _Trust me_."

Before Clara knew what was happening, Aria placed her hand onto the Doctor's shoulder firmly. Before he could spin around to see what was happening, Aria had punched the last button with her finger and thrown herself away from the two of them.

In a flash of smoke, the Doctor and Clara found themselves back in the TARDIS.

 

~

Back in the house, Aria had quickly regained her balance and had pulled out a small gun (she had stolen it on an escapade she had had on her own in The Rastric Moon Colony in the 47th century, keeping it easily tucked into her boot). It didn't kill, merely stunned.  _But they don't need to know that_ , she thought, as she trained it down at the main henchman, right between his eyes.

"Now, Aria," the man said, his tone patronizing, "We don't want to hurt you."

"Where's my mother?"

The man laughed, and Aria wanted to vomit. She decided to risk a few steps down towards him, flipping a switch on her weapon that made it whir to life, ready to fire. The two men flanking the center one raised their own weapons higher, but he raised a hand and they lowered them down, still tense and ready to go.

"Where is she?" Aria repeated, her voice dangerous.

The man took a step up to her. "Would you like to see her again?"

Aria's grip faltered for a fraction of a second, but it was unnoticeable as she stared at him intensely, holding her ground. "She's alive?"

"Of course she is," he answered quietly, but his voice was cocky and it rubbed her the wrong way. "I can take you to her, if you like."

Did they think she was stupid? This was so clearly a trap. But even so, she was tempted, if it meant she could get to Donna. She was bright enough, quick enough. Maybe she could figure the rest out later.

Before she could really think of it, though, the door flung open and the Doctor appeared, calling her name. The two men were distracted briefly as their heads turned, and it was enough. Aria shot the man before her, and when the others turned to react, shot them each so quickly and square in the center of their foreheads they barely had time to blink.

The Doctor looked shocked, then immediately horrified.

"Oh, don't look at me like that," she said breathlessly as she ran down the stairs. She grabbed his hand and he followed her out. "They're stunned, not dead."

They ran back into the TARDIS and he watched her run up to the console. He saw her fingers twitch to take control, but she looked back at him expectantly, her eyes wide and frustrated. "Well, let's go!"

Quickly, the Doctor began puling levers and pushing buttons, sending them into the vortex.

"They said she's alive," Aria told him the second he stopped, "I don't- they could be lying, but I don't- he said..."

The Doctor scooped her into a hug before she could finish, and she returned it, though she was clearly confused. "Doctor?"

"She is," he told her, before placing her down gently. He kissed her forehead, holding her face between his hands. "She  _is_  alive," he repeated. He was almost giddy.

"How-" Aria's face broke into a reluctant smile, "How do you know?"

"Houses," he said, going into explanation mode, "They hold memories, ghosts, people always say 'if these walls could talk,' well they practically can. That's why the sonic was taking me to her room, it could sense a specific memory. I was able to extract it, and it wasn't too difficult seeing as the space has been untouched since that morning, untampered.... there was an imprint, and it was strong. They took her, yes, but they said that they needed her alive. I know," he said quickly, "I know, it sounds bad, and it's dark, but it means she's alive, and," he finished, his smile a bit stronger, "There was an order to keep her safe."

Aria let the tears fall, as they were, for the first time in a while, sprung from good news. She embraced the Doctor fully as they both laughed. "She's alive? She's really, truly alive?"

The Doctor nodded as he looked down at her, happy both with the news, and that he could give her this. This little piece of hope in a seemingly hopeless situation. "The sonic recognized the imprint, and because it was Donna, it was able to confirm that the source was still alive."

She covered her mouth in gleeful disbelief, shaking her head. She felt her body long to do something, and looked around in response to whatever the instinct was.

"Where's Clara?"

"Oh," the Doctor's face fell, "Right, well, I thought it best not to bring her when I came back to get you, the two of you are always so insistent on getting into trouble," he added defensively as he went and pressed a few buttons. Aria heard a door click open somewhere in the depths of the TARDIS, "So I sort of..."

"You locked me in my room! What am I, twelve?" Clara shouted as she stormed into the console room. She walked up to the Doctor, who flinched prematurely as she punched him in the arm.

Then she rounded furiously on Aria. "And WHAT were you thinking, sending us away? Do you have any idea how stupid that was, how dangerous, how-"

Aria was watching her, caught up in her sudden giddiness, and cut her off before she knew what she was doing, grabbing her arms and bringing her lips to hers in a furious kiss. It took Clara by surprise, but suddenly, everything made sense, and her body responded to hers naturally. It was as if this is where she was always supposed to be, all those moments, that unnamed  _thing_ \- everything clicked at once, and the answer was suddenly so easy.

She wrapped her arms around Aria's neck, as Aria's hands gripped the fabric of her dress at her sides, holding Clara's body close to hers. Their lips were soft but intent on each others', Aria's joy surging into her even though she didn't yet know where the joy was coming from.

After a moment, their lips parted as they rested their foreheads against each other, just breathing there. Aria's smile was wide and Clara's was growing.

The Doctor coughed awkwardly from where he stood on the other side of the console. He was purposefully looking anywhere but at them, as if inspecting things that didn't need inspecting. They separated slightly, suddenly realizing themselves at the sudden sound and looking at him. Even so, they held onto each other, unable to completely let go.

"Well," he said, blushing as he looked at them finally, feeling embarrassed that he had been subjected to such an intimate moment. "That's good to know," he tried with a high pitched sort of giggle. He scratched his head, fidgeting.

And then, after an awkward silence, they all broke into a fit of much needed laughter, and the TARDIS hummed happily at the precious moment of untainted happiness.


	8. A Change Of Plans

The moment of happiness wouldn't last.

But the surprises were only beginning.

The Doctor was able to connect the sonic into the TARDIS and trace the source, and hold a lock on the right location. But something hit him as he stared at the monitor. He had been so worked up in the excitement of the moment, so overjoyed to find out Donna was alive, that he had almost missed the obvious.

He grimaced at the screen, his face suddenly tight with concern. Aria and Clara crossed to either side of him as he slowed.

"Doctor?" Aria asked cautiously, looking between him and the monitor, "What is it?"

The Doctor let out a sigh, studying the screen as his mind calculated and buzzed about. He had let emotions lead him, and perhaps that had been a mistake. Now, he struggled to bring his logic back into the situation.

"Something's wrong," he muttered, thinking, "It's too easy."

"What do you mean?" Clara asked, worried.

The Doctor looked down at her, and the within the look, she understood. They shouldn't have been able to find her this easily, they shouldn't have even been able to escape this easily. These people had chased her throughout all of time and space, and when they finally had her right where they wanted her, not only were there only a few guards, but they barely put up a fight.

The private exchange and resulting silence was irritating Aria, who was growing restless beside them.

"I don't understand," she finally interrupted, "We've got the coordinates, they're right there, we can find her, we can save her."

The Doctor turned his wary gaze to her. "Aria, we need to stop and think for a moment."

"Why? We need to go!"

"Aria," Clara tried, "When you were there, alone with them, what happened?"

Aria stopped, and both the Doctor and Clara saw the slight resistance in her as she took a subtle step back.

"What does that matter?"

"They wanted to take you to her, didn't they?" the Doctor pressed. 

She blinked, remembering the trap they had clearly tried to set for her. But the way they had gotten this information, it wasn't through those men. It was different, they could figure out a way to get her out safely. This wasn't her being taken, they could come at it from a different angle.

Aria took another step back, then turned to the railing, gripping it. She didn't answer, but the Doctor knew what her silence confirmed.

"This isn't a small thing we're dealing with here, Aria. These people have the ability to follow you wherever and whenever you are, we need to think it through before we do anything... rash," he tried, wanting nothing more than to do just that. But if they went about this wrong, the results could be disasterous. It would all have been for nothing. 

Clara stepped beside her carefully, placing a hand on her shoulder. But Aria jerked away quickly, making a decision and spinning round, rushing to the other side of the console. "This is ridiculous."

She began furiously pulling levers, pressing buttons, spinning gears, yanking the monitor towards her. She was taking control; she had waited long enough.

"No!" The Doctor called immediately, catching up to her and wrapping his arms around her from behind so he pinned her own arms to her side. "Aria, you have to listen!"

Aria struggled in his grasp, "Let me go!"

But there wasn't much time to struggle before the TARDIS jerked and spun, sending all three of them flying to the ground. The ship continued to shake, and the Doctor crawled up to the console, gripping the side of it against the turbulence and attempting to steady them into the vortex. It didn't take long to see that the screen on the monitor had gone fuzzy, and he knew the TARDIS was rejecting wherever Aria was trying to send them. With a final shake, the Doctor was knocked to the ground again.

The TARDIS had landed.

With a groan, Clara pushed herself up, looking around to get her bearings. She saw Aria, and her eyes widened. Rushing over to her, she brushed the hair out of her face as Aria sat up.

"Ari, are you al-?" But she stopped as her fingers traced her hairline.

"Yeah, yeah," she reassured her, getting up and helping Clara stand. "Are you?"

"Yeah, I'm fine, it's just," she stared at her, then shook her head clear.

"What?"

"I thought you were bleeding, I thought I saw... never mind. I must have been seeing things."

The Doctor had come over to check on both of them, then turned back to the monitor, knocking against the side and typing away with his fingers, working to pull up data on wherever they had ended up this time.

"That was incredibly stupid," he reprimanded through gritted teeth, not looking at Aria.

"I'm sorry," she said weakly.

The Doctor rubbed his face. For once, he wanted to stay mad at her. But alas, as usual, he couldn't. She had been through too much, and she only did what he himself had wanted to do.

"Oi," he said, looking at her sideways, a gentle glimmer in his eyes, "We'll find her. Promise."

She gave him a small grin in response, shuffling to her feet. Once again, he saw the scared child slip through as she sometimes did. It hurt him to see her battle such pain, but he was soon distracted by the data that appeared on the monitor. "Well," he started, "You _tried_ to get her to follow the right coordinates, but it looks like the TARDIS had other plans."

The three of them looked at the screen, and the data shifted, numbers and letters flashing across it before settling once more.

 _No_ , the Doctor thought, _It can't be._

His eyes widened as he stared at the coordinates that would confirm where they were, unable to accept them as fact.

Clara, who had moved beside him, watched his face change drastically. "Okay. Where are we, then?"

The Doctor opened his mouth to answer, but his mouth went dry.

There was a creak behind them as the TARDIS doors opened. The three of them turned, and Doctor's hearts dropped into his stomach, his muscles suddenly aching and his breath leaving his body as he looked upon the woman who appeared in disbelief. 

"Hello Sweetie." 


	9. A Face I've Never Seen Before

The Doctor gaped. Clara's eyes widened. Aria looked them all in confusion.  

"What?" River asked, her smile glittering and her eyebrow arched as she took a few steps forward, "You look as though you've seen a ghost." 

The Doctor would have laughed at the cruel irony of the statement if he had not been so lacking in air.  

River stopped suddenly, her flirtatious air wavering as worry creased her brow. "Doctor? Is everything alright?" 

Aria looked between the Doctor and the strange woman, with alarmingly wild hair, her lips twitching to ask just what was going on. They clearly knew each other well. _Very well_ , she thought. Just by the way they were regarding each other. But who was she? Why was no one saying anything? The last thing she was in the mood for was another surprise.  

She was about to give in to the unbearable urge to speak when the Doctor finally found his voice, cracking a bit as he started. 

"Clara, could you and Aria give us a moment?" he asked, his voice low.  

Clara quickly came to, nodding quickly and reaching around to grab Aria, who tried to stop in protest. "But-" 

Clara rolled her eyes, yanking harder and pushing Aria in front of her into the TARDIS hallway, where they disappeared into the back corners of the ship.  

The Doctor's eyes had yet to leave River's face, even as hers flickered away to watch the two girls leave, concern still present in her expression. Oh, that expression. _Oh, that face..._  He stared indulgently as he took every inch of her in. 

She was wearing denims and a fitted white tee with a deep v-neck, under a pinstriped blazer full of autumn colors, her brown boots laced up to her knees. Her hair was as golden and glorious as ever, two pins holding it back on either side of her face. And he was grateful, for he wanted nothing in the world to obstruct his view of her face. Those lips, parted delicately as she tried to subtly assess the situation. Those lips, that he thought he would never see again, never touch... 

By the time River had moved her eyes back to him, he was standing almost against her, and she stumbled back a bit in surprise at his sudden closeness. But he hadn't been able to bear it anymore, and he caught her before she could fall.  

Catching her by the waist, he crashed his lips into hers desperately. River reacted quickly, winding her arms around his neck as he pressed her closer, afraid that she would disappear. She opened her mouth easily under the force of his passion, allowing his tongue the access it demanded, exploring her mouth as if for the first time. Well, in this body, it was. But no matter the body, she was was his, and he moaned darkly into her mouth with how deeply he had longed for her. 

The Doctor couldn't think: all he could do was feel her. The warmth, the inviting softness of her skin, the indescribable taste of her. He didn't know how, but he suddenly felt himself pressing her against the TARDIS doors, his kiss deepening ever further as his hands roamed, unable to settle on a spot. He was overwhelmed and wanted all of her at once, to meld himself into her so deeply that he disappeared and never had to lose her again.  

He hadn't realized he was crying until River pulled her lips from his gently, her hands cradling his face as she wiped them away with the pads of her thumbs. He pinched his eyes shut and tried to steady his breath, which matched River's in it's heaviness, and placed his hands firmly against the wood on either side of her. He pressed his forehead against hers as he calmed himself, unwilling to break contact. 

"Shh, shhh. Oh, my love," she whispered softly, her green eyes glistening with worry.  

It was a few moments before he dared open his eyes, their breath finally slowing. He looked at her with an unguarded pain in his eyes, buried there beneath the love and adoration as his gaze worshipped her face.    

She was lost in those eyes. Something was different in the way he was looking at her. Something new. After all this time with him, centuries of loving him and being loved in return, through her early days at Stormcage and her new adventures as a Professor of Archaeolgy, when they knew each other and when they didn't... and still, the way he looked at her... this was _new_. She basked in it, but that something new worried her. 

Her fingers dragged lightly down his face and brushed against his lips.  

"New face," she mused quietly, a sincere smile spreading on her lips. "I've never seen this one before." 

Her hands drifted down to rest on his chest, over his hearts. _How appropriate_ , the Doctor thought, _my hearts in her hands_. 

He straightened a bit so he could bring his own hands up to cup her face, holding it preciously in his hands.  

"What is it, sweetie?" she asked him finally, "What's wrong?"

The Doctor laughed for a moment, unable to help himself. He looked down to the floor. This was a cruel joke. He knew, by when and where they had landed, that there was some time before his younger self took her to Darillium. But not enough. He had never seen her face with this face, and she had never seen his either: they would finally be linear, but only for such a short while. It would never be enough.   

When he met her eyes again, he caressed her face sweetly, and answered her as honestly as he could. 

"I've missed you."

He pulled her into him, a tight hug with one arm around her shoulders, the other tangling in her hair as he buried his face there. She wrapped her arms around his waist and held onto him, sighing against the warm skin of his neck. 

"How long has it been since you've seen me Doctor?" 

He held his breath for a moment. "Too long, my dear." 

She pulled away, looking up at him. "It's always too long," he added, "Even when it's only a day. It's always too long." 

"Doctor..." He kissed her once again, pouring into it all the tenderness he felt for her, and causing her to whimper slightly against his lips. 

By the time he pulled away, he had decided. 

He had gotten her back, and he would keep her with him as long as he could.

 ~

Clara had pulled Aria into her bedroom, and she watched from the edge of the bed as Aria paced about the room. 

"So, she's his wife?" 

"Yes," Clara repeated. 

"Why doesn't she live on the TARDIS then?" 

Clara was stalling, hoping the Doctor wouldn't be too long. She wasn't sure how much she was allowed to tell Aria, especially considering that when they met, Aria had already known River. So, with no real answers, she had settled on simple. His wife. That was enough for now. Not dead wife. Not part Time Lord, or whatever. Just wife.

"Uhm..." 

"Yes?"  

"It's complicated." 

Aria continued her restless pacing, trying to figure something out. Clara watched, unable to help the slightly amused expression on her face. 

"But... why would the TARDIS bring us to his wife? I mean, I know I can fly this thing, I've done it before- don't tell the Doctor, but I practice when he's not looking- and we were supposed to be going to get Donna, it doesn't make sense..." 

"The TARDIS is smart, you know that. It brings us where we need to be. Maybe... maybe we're here to get River's help." 

Aria stopped, turning to her. "You think?" 

"Sure." 

"Huh." 

"The TARDIS probably also knew we were heading for a trap..." 

Aria began pacing again. "Well, we're going to have to go there sooner or later, trap or not. So she better get used to it."  

She muttered the last part like a petulant little girl, looking down and shifting her feet again. Clara's smirk widened at it. Aria caught the look, and straightened. 

"What?" she asked defensively. 

"Nothing," Clara responded, shaking her head, "You're cute." 

Aria's cheeks flushed momentarily, and her mouth threatened to break into a smile. She pursed her lips, and spun around, resuming her pacing once more.  

"Well, that's beside the point." 

Clara giggled quietly from her seat on the bed, and Aria was suddenly becoming very aware of the room they were in when a knock on the door brought her back to reality.  

"Hi, hello there," the Doctor's voice rang out cautiously from the other side, "Look, if you're busy- well, just... we should talk, all of us- so... stop whatever you're doing-" 

Aria rolled her eyes as she swiftly opened the door. "Honestly, Doctor. We do have some self control." 

River was shaking her head at his rambling, and the Doctor was wide eyed and grinning awkwardly. "Right, of course. Well, in that case, I believe introductions are in order." 

The Doctor stepped aside to let River in, who stepped forward with an amused glance at her fumbling husband.  

"Sorry about him, he's worse than a toddler. But I suspect you've realized that by now. Professor River Song," she said, extending her hand to Clara. 

"Clara." 

"Aria," she said, taking her hand when Clara was through. 

When River took Aria's hand, she stumbled for a moment, her head feeling suddenly light and a sharp pain bursting briefly between her eyes. The Doctor stepped up immediately behind her, hands on both her shoulders. 

"Are you alright?" Aria asked in concern, gripping her hands to steady her. 

River recovered quickly, straightening up and shaking her head to clear it. 

"Yes, yeah, sorry about that. Must be more tired than I realized," she tried, smiling. "It's nice to meet you, dear. Both of you." 

"Okay then. Right. Let's get started," the Doctor pressed on. 

Aria nodded her head once, beginning to head out the door. The Doctor swept his arm out quickly, stopping her. 

"Woah, woah, woah. Hold on a minute. We have to _talk_ first. Understood?" 

Aria rolled her eyes, but swore to keep her hands to herself and off the controls.  

"Understood." 

With that, the foursome returned to the console room to make a plan, Aria with Clara, followed by the Doctor and River, who stopped for a moment more at the doorway to rub her head lightly.  

The Doctor paused when he noticed her hesitate. "You sure you're okay?" 

"Yeah," River reassured him, "I just... I feel like I've forgotten something."

 


	10. A Mother's Love

It had taken less than an hour for Aria to be sent to her room. 

"I'm not a bloody child," she grumbled as she stalked down the TARDIS halls.

But the Doctor had insisted. They were only talking in circles with her there, each circle ending with Aria lurching for a control on the console, before one of the others restrained her, and the circle began again.

The Doctor argued that they needed to do some more investigating, as much as it pained him to put off running right to Donna. He feared that he would be risking not only her safety, but the rest of them as well. And he was looking around the console room at three very important reasons to be careful. Clara agreed, reluctantly. River was quiet, not shy about her own agreement, but getting near ancy about all the chatting.  

On Aria's fifth, and almost successful, attempt, the Doctor had banished her from the room. 

"You really think locking her in her room is going to keep her out of trouble?" Clara asked, her brow raised in doubt. 

"No," the Doctor nodded without hesitation, "But it'll stall her at least."

"Why don't I go sit with her, yeah?" River interjected.

"What? No, no, no, Clara can go, you should stay with me and we can try and map out some-"

"Sweetie," River stepped up to him, genlty resting her hand on his tensely crossed arms, "You're not nearly there yet- before we do anything, you need to decide what it is you want to do. Now, we're not going to get anywhere unless we come to a decision uninterrupted. And that's certainly not going to happen unless someone is keeping an eye on her."

"River..."  
  
"Doctor," she stepped in a bit closer, her voice dropping. "I don't know what's happened since the last time you saw me," he winced, and she brought her fingers gently up to his lips, "And I don't want you to tell me. Spoilers, remember?" She smoothed her hand down his chest with a soft smile, her eyes intent and pleading with his. "You're afraid to let me out of your sight, I can see that. But that girl, who you clearly care about- she's terrified. She's alone. And she doesn't know what to do with herself. I know what that feels like- so I'm going to go and sit with her until you two decide what we need to do." She straightened, a small smirk spreading on her lips. "Then I'll come map out whatever you like and get us where we need to go."

The Doctor could only look down at her in wonder. When would she stop surprising him? The things in her speech that had pained him he tucked away, swallowing hard before nodding, conceding to her with puppy dog eyes as she kissed his cheek and turned to leave.

Clara, who had averted her eyes out of respect when their conversation had become more intimate, suddenly stepped back in.

"I can go, really, it should be me-"

"No offense, darling," River interrupted, "But I have a feeling she could distract you fairly easily and get away."

Clara opened her mouth to protest as River patted her knowinlgy on the shoulder and disappeared down the hallway, but found she could not find the words to defend herself. Frustrated, she walked up to the Doctor instead.

"Okay," she said, "So what are we going to do?"

~

 

River reached the door and knocked softly agaisnt it. "Aria?" Silence. "Aria, it's River. May I come in?"

She waited, but heard little movement on the other side.

"Aria?"

Nothing. 

"Oh, sod it," she murmured. Taking a pin out of her hair, she picked the lock, opening the door with ease.

When she walked in, she shut the door calmy behind her, unsurprised to see Aria up against the headboard of her bed, gripping a pillow to her stomach, eyes red and running. She started as River appeared, straightening and wiping her eyes almost violently.

"Hey! What about a locked door makes you think I want company?"

River watched her carefully, stepping up to the end of the bed. "Nothing. Except, I know from experience that sometimes the more defenses you put up, the more you wish someone would rip them down. Or pick the lock," she added with a gentle grin.

Aria's mouth hung open slightly. River's calm and sure manner, her shockingly accurate words... her chest heaved with a new surge of pain and she sobbed into her pillow once more. This sudden crying thing was getting on her nerves, but she found herself unable to do anything else at the moment.

Without hesitating, River crossed around to the side of the bed, carefully sitting beside Aria and wrapping an arm around her. Aria easily accepted the offered embrace, in no state to deny such comort, and lean against her, burying her head against her neck. River held her tightly, wrapping both arms around her and letting her weep into her curls. 

They stayed like that for who knows how long, River rocking and soothing her gently, a maternal instinct she never got the chance to key into suddenly strong. When Aria's breathing finally slowed and calmed, River decided it was alright to speak. 

"You know the Doctor is only trying to protect you. He wants to save Donna as much as you do." 

She felt Aria nod against her shoulder. "I know," she replied hoarsely. She sat up a bit, straightening, and letting out a sigh. "I just can't help it. I don't know how to not do anything, I get so- restless just talking about it, and anxious. It's... cumpulsory. Maybe it is better I was exiled to my room." 

River laughed, rubbing her arm. "I understand that. I can't stand being still either. Especially not when someone I love is in trouble." 

There was a moment of silence then, both women lost in their own thoughts. River's sense of protectiveness over Aria, after so very little time, was suddenly very apparent. She chalked it up to the Doctor: she meant something to him, so she automatically meant something to her. She liked Aria, though, having admired with a hidden grin her ferocity in the console room. There was some unspoken connection there; River understood her.  

Aria, meanwhile, was grateful for this kind of comfort; the kind a mother would give. And she had accepted it so easily, so willingly, feeling all at once relieved, at home, and somewhat guilty.  

Maybe they were both just giving into selfish needs long since denied, but was that really so terrible if they were both willing to give? 

Soon, River felt another shift in her breathing, and looked down to see Aria had drifted off to sleep.  

She carefully wriggled away, tucking her in with a throw blanket at the end of the bed. She touched Aria's face gently, and something flashed behind her eyes again. The brief wave of pain was back, but there was something else there too... 

She didn't have much time to think, however, before Clara burst through the door. She halted quickly, seeing Aria soundly asleep on the bed, and looked urgently to River. "The Doctor needs you," she said quietly. 

River nodded once and rushed to follow her out, glancing back once more at the girl asleep on the covers. 

When she got to the console room, the Doctor was watching the monitor with a near horrified look on his face. She moved quickly to his side. 

"Doctor? What is it, what's... Oh. Oh my God..." 

The three of them watched the screen, baffled by what they saw. A red-haired woman was sitting, tied to a chair, looking directly back at them. 

"Hello? Oi, can you hear me?! Where the hell am I?" 

The Doctor breathed for the first time in what felt like minutes. 

"Donna..."

 


	11. The Final Straw (I Know How To Run)

"How do you know my name? Have you brought me here?! Because let me tell you, you will be sorry when I get my hands free, you won't know what hit you, you rotten, evil bastards!" the familiar voice bellowed back through the monitor. Aside from the restraints, she seemed unharmed. And as fiery as she ever was. 

The Doctor's eyes were wide- how had they hacked into the TARDIS communication system? How was any of this possible? 

"I'm- I'm, uh-" 

"We're friends, Donna," River overstepped his stumbling quickly, taking control. "I'm Melody," (though she had never met Donna, she couldn't be sure she never would, and she knew the dangers of triggering those memories), "And this is John and Clara. We don't know whose got you, but we're going to find out." 

Donna blinked, looking as if she wanted to say something but at an unusual loss for words. Her eyes looked full to bursting, but she struggled against it, her lips drawn tight. She wanted to ask them how she could trust them, the screen that had been left in front of her in the small containment cell had been placed there by her enemies, whoever they were. But more than anything, she wanted to cling to hope- as she had so little of it left to hang onto. So instead, she asked the only thing she dared, the only thing she couldn't stop herself from asking. 

"My daughter..." her voice choked a little, but she pinched her eyes shut, shaking her head. She looked back up with renewed intensity. "My daughter, Aria... is she..."

"She's safe," River assured her, her own heart twisting in anguish for this woman, "She's safe, we've got her." 

Clara looked behind River, trying to get the Doctor's attention. 

"Shouldn't we wake her?" Clara whispered urgently. 

The Doctor continued to gape at the screen. River looked back to Clara quickly then nudged the Doctor's arm, snapping him out of his trance and wordlessly urging him to speak to Donna, to distract her while she answered Clara's question discretely. 

"We can't," she breathed, her voice tight. 

"Donna, can you talk to me? Tell me where you are, tell me about the people who took you. How long have you been there?" The Doctor was back on track, rushing to get everything he could before this connection would inevitably be lost. Now was not the time to be emotional. 

Beside him, RIver and Clara continued their hushed conversation, unnoticed by Donna. 

"But why? It's her mother, she needs-" Clara began to protest. 

"Clara, I know. Believe me, I know. But think for a moment- it will only hurt her to see her like this, tied up and lost and alone... she'll do something rash, and she'll knock all three of us out of her path to do it." 

Clara struggled, wanting desperately to say to hell with it, and run and get Aria, to give her the one thing she'd been wanting for so long. "Yes, but-" 

River put her hands on Clara's shoulders, stopping her. "She'll put herself in danger, Clara." 

That seemed to do it. Although Clara didn't want to keep something like this from Aria, her need to protect her was stronger than that desire. She couldn't let her go and get herself hurt, or worse. And she realized now that that would be far too likely an outcome. She nodded tensely in agreement. 

No longer had it been settled, however, then a soft voice came from the top of the stairs to the hallway. 

"Mom?" 

All three turned to see Aria standing there, her face full of disbelief. 

"Aria?" 

Donna's voice was suddenly gentle as she looked around desperately for the familiar voice. River had begun to step forward, but Aria ran past the lot of them, almost tripping as she barreled into the console gaping at the screen. 

"Mom..." she breathed, touching the screen as new tears worked their way silently down her cheeks. 

"Darling," Donna's voice was warm and full of sadness, her breathing suddenly staggered with emotion at seeing her daughter's face. "Oh God, I thought you were- I thought..." 

"Mom, are you okay? Have they hurt you, where-?" 

And then the screen grew briefly fuzzy before snapping into blackness. 

Aria felt as thought the wind had been knocked out of her. 

"No," she murmured, distractedly punching at buttons in attempts to get the monitor back on, "No, no, no, we have to get her back..." 

"Aria," the Doctor started, coming up behind her and trying to lead her away. 

Violently, she ripped away from him, backing up against the rail, shaking her head furiously. 

"No, get her BACK!" 

The Doctor reached for her again as the others watched carefully. "Aria, please- listen to me, we're going to work this out, we're-" 

But Aria slapped his extended hand away and rounded on Clara, walking directly up to her. Clara's breath stopped as she stumbled, Aria's eyes boring into hera with a pained and angry gaze. 

"How long?" 

Clara blinked, having taken a step back in surprise at her sudden change in temper. The Doctor moved slightly to interfere, but River, watching Aria closely, lifted her hand up in a gesture to stop him. 

"W-what?" Clara asked, stricken. 

"How long was she on the screen, how long before I came out here?" 

"I... I don't..." 

"Why didn't you wake me?" 

"Ari..." 

But Aria stepped back, shaking her head again. She took a few steadying breaths and walked between River and the Doctor, looking down at the floor. 

"Take us to her," she demanded, her voice low but dangerous. 

"We can't," the Doctor responded firmly, his voice tinged with regret. 

"Take us to her, right now," she repeated, just as strong. When nobody budged, she collapsed a bit, still meeting no ones' eyes. "Please." 

There was stillness. The Doctor and River both seemed to know that any physical contact might send her into a panic, and she would fight it until she was free. Clara stood to the side, shaking and staring likewise at the floor, trying to hide her own pain. So they waited. For something to give. For someone to break. 

"Fine," she decided, "Then I will." 

She began to move to the controls but the Doctor moved to stop her, firmly grabbing her shoulders. She began to struggle, but River moved in, wrapping her arms around her chest from behind to pin her arms down to her side. She moved backwards with some trouble, murmuring softly into Aria's hair that it would be okay, and hushing her with a soothing voice in attempts to calm her down, or at least get her to stop fighting. After a few moments, she relaxed, her sadness enveloping her again as she leaned back against River and let the insistent tears fall. 

River held on tightly, exchanging a look with the Doctor before glancing at Clara, who had since sat on the steps, still regarding nothing but the floor. 

With a deep breath Aria looked up, gripping the arms around her for support and looked pleadingly at the Doctor. 

"Then please, land her. Just land her. Anywhere, I don't care, I just... I need some air, real air. Please." 

The Doctor nodded, unable to deny her this when he was denying her so much already. 

They landed somewhere unspectacular, on Earth, a boring day, a boring time, where nothing extraordinary happened. Aria moved swiftly out the doors, followed by the others. The Doctor pulled Clara aside as they walked along behind. 

"Are you okay?"

She shook her head. "She's never looked at me like that before. She hates me." 

The Doctor put his arm supportively around her. "She doesn't hate you, I promise. She could never," he added, his voice sure. He kissed the top of her head reassuringly, and she leaned into the embrace, trying desperately to force away the look Aria had given her now seared in her memory. 

"Aria!" 

River's voice snapped them both back to reality, as they looked up to see Aria sprinting away into a nearby park, River not far behind. Exchanging a glance, they sped to catch up, calling after her as they ran. 

Breathless but determined, Aria launched herself up into a tree, climbing as high as she needed to escape them. She looked down at River, who grabbed at the bark as if to climb after her, and the other two who had just come to a halt below. 

"I'm sorry," she said genuinely as she freed her wrist from the confines of her sweatshirt. Quickly, she typed out the coordinates long since burned into her memory into her vortex manipulator. 

And in a burst of smoke, she was gone.


	12. Look Away, Love, Don't Find Me Here

"Dammit." 

River swore to herself as she pushed off the tree. 

"Where did she go?" Clara asked, panicked.  

"Give you one guess," the Doctor replied through clenched teeth, already on the move back to the TARDIS.  

River was swiftly behind him, but Clara stood rooted to the spot, staring up at the tree where Aria had just vanished. 

"She left," she muttered, incredulous. "She just left."  

But the Doctor's voice brought her back to reality as he beckoned loudly for her to follow them, and she did, running into the TARDIS and closing her mind to her suddenly broken heart.  

As soon as she was inside, she saw River and the Doctor both whirling around the console, pulling levers and punching buttons, and she strode up to lean against the railing. She was too distracted to ask where they were going or beg information; she already knew.  

River looked at the buttons the Doctor clicked at as she moved, the two of them weaving and passing each other in a choreographed dance around the controls.  

"We're going, then?" she asked, only for final confirmation. 

"Well," the Doctor grumbled to himself, "We don't have much of a choice now, do we?" 

He was about to shift the lever that would send them spinning to follow Aria, when suddenly there was a loud banging on the TARDIS doors. Three heads snapped up in surprise.  

"Doctor! Doctor, open up! It's me!" 

A man's voice was calling into them as the hand continued to bang furiously against the doors.  

River and the Doctor exchanged a look, as the Doctor moved swiftly but cautiously to the doors, glancing back at the women behind him once more before opening them to the familiar sound. 

The man burst in the second there was give, stumbling in past him. 

"Shut the door!" he reminded quickly, and the Doctor, startled, pushed it shut, turning in shock at the face of a friend he hadn't seen in centuries.  

Although his manner was indefinitely urgent, he gave the Doctor a familiar smirk as he tried to catch his breath.  

"Well, Doc. Long time, no see." 

The Doctor shook his head, blinking hard as if he were seeing things. _So many ghosts, as of late_ , he thought.  

"Jack?"

 ~

 

Aria landed a bit harshly at her destination, catching herself on her hands as she fell to her knees. She had left in such a hurry, and in such a messy manner, that she had little control over anything but the destination.  

She coughed in the haze of the smoke that followed her landing, standing slowly to her feet, her denims ripped and torn where they had met with the rough concrete. She crinkled her nose as she smelled a smoke stronger and more strangling than what she was used to, and looked down at her arm to see her grey zip-up had caught fire. She ripped it off quickly, discarding it on the floor and stomping to put the flame out. When the hectic moment had finally settled, she straightened and looked at her surroundings, the weight of what her impulsivity had lead her to do suddenly heavy upon her. 

"Shit." 

Aria breathed the word out quietly as she looked around. She was in an old, abandoned warehouse-type space, large and looming with air that sent a shiver up her spine. It seemed endless and the silence was as oppressive as the seeming lack of windows.  

What had she done? _Well, most likely, fallen right into a trap_. But besides that, she had run away from the only people in the universe she could trust, and once again, was quite alone. The Doctor, who had helped her now for so long, who she admittedly (to herself, at least) leaned on like the father figure she never had. This River, who she had an inexplicable bond with, who she implicitly trusted without reason or understanding, who had offered comfort she had thought lost to her forever. And Clara. _Clara_. She swallowed hard against the acid in her throat at the thought. What she must think of her, leaving like that. Running. Her beautiful Clara. She fought off the sorrow that threatened to overcome her when she realized what she had really run away from: her family. 

They would have figured it out, they would have... damn her restless nature.  

But the thoughts melted away in the blink of an eye when she realized she was not alone in the room.  

"Aria?" 

The familiar sound was weak and it sent a shot of terror straight through her heart. She looked around desperately, and her eyes settled quickly on a figure lying limply in the corner. 

"Mom." 

She raced to her side without another thought, another regret, kneeling beside Donna and wiping the strands of the wild, red hair she had always envied now sticking to the sweat on her forehead. Looking at her now, she couldn't imagine her being here, like this, alone, and she could no longer question her decision to come.  

"Oh, darling," Donna breathed, her eyes glassy and heavy as she strained to look up at her daughter. 

Aria fought back tears as her movements were hurried to asses the situation. She leaned over Donna, undoing the binds that held her wrists behind her, helping her bring her hands forward and rubbing her fingers over the raw skin somewhat frantically. She gave her a desperate smile, looking at the eyes that seemed to be drifting in and out of their color. She tried not to notice the unusual paleness in her face, the way that she, even freed, still lay hopeless against the cold floor.  

"It's going to be okay, alright?" Aria nodded, trying to convince herself as well as her mother. "It's going to be fine, promise, we're going to get you out of here. You're going to be just fine." 

Donna's returning smile was so strained it almost hurt to look at. She was trying to be brave for her child, but she was so close to the edge of something it was undeniable, and she couldn't shake the morbid thought of gratitude that she could see Aria's face once more before it was over. 

"Sweetheart," she mustered all the strength she could to speak, "Listen to me. Please." 

Her hand stilled Aria's as it clung to her, but Aria was reluctant to be so still. To stop moving. But with a gentle squeeze of her hand, she stopped, holding back the water filling her eyes with all her might. 

"You get yourself out of here, alright? You need to run..." 

Aria shook her head furiously, "I'm not leaving you. I can't, I can't." 

The tears ran down her face as she pinched her eyes shut. She knew Donna was to weak to travel with her manipulator; she'd never survive in this condition. Her pulse was weak and Aria felt her heart sitting weighted in her stomach. She gasped for breath before steadying herseld as best she could, looking down at her mother and holding her hand firmly between both of her own. 

"Yes," Donna said firmly, "Yes you can. It's too late for me, my love. My beautiful, brave girl. You have made me so proud." 

"Mom..." 

"No, listen to me. This is important. You have mad my life so full and important," she lifted her free hand, trembling, to her daughter's face, and Aria grasped it, leaning into her touch. "And I won't be able to do this unless I know you're going to get yourself out of here- don't you let them get their hands on you. Promise me you'll run. I love you. Promise me." 

Even now, like this, that unmistakeable Donna Noble fire was fighting to show itself in her eyes.  

"I promise." 

Donna's breath caught, and it was beginning to stagger. The panic in Aria was rising again. 

"Please, mom, please..." 

"Darling," she tried weakly to calm her. 

"I met a girl," she blurted out, not knowing why. 

Donna smiled, her fading heart warm. "Yeah?" 

"Yeah," she nodded quickly, "She's wonderful. You'll love her, she smart, and stunning, and- and she can actually put up with me, which is shocking." 

Both women gave strangled laughs. Donna's heartbeat wavered. 

"I think I might be in it for life, so- so, I can't wait for you to meet her." 

Both women knew this would never happen. But Donna let her pretend, lost in the idea of being a part of her daughter's future.  

Her hands were growing cold. 

"And I've been seeing the world, mom, the universe. And when you're better, when all this is done, you're gonna come with me, this time. We'll travel together..." 

And suddenly, Aria realized what she had to do. She gripped both her mothers hands tightly, and leaned in close, ensuring she was listening.  

"I met this man, Donna. An old friend of yours. He's called the Doctor." 

Donna's eyes widened slightly. "W-what?" 

"I love you, mom." 

And Aria spun the tale of her mother's forgotten life, letting the words slip from her mouth like a sweet wind, caressing Donna's mind as her expression softened and she basked in the odd familiarity of the story. There was a quick burst of pain that tangled around her head, but she smiled as she gasped one final breath. 

"I remember." 

And she was gone.  

~

 

Jack rushed past the Doctor, up to the console, and began looking around the monitor as if looking for a switch, then back around the room. His eyes landed suddenly on River, and his face lit up in a soft smile. 

"River." 

"I'm sorry," River blinked, returning the small smile. "Have we met?" 

"Not exactly," he smirked, extending his hand, "But you're the wife. I know who you are. Jack Harkness." 

"Pleasure." 

"Jack..." The Doctor strode up to him, glaring. 

"Really? After all this time? I was only saying hello!" he insisted. His bright eyes turned to Clara. 

"And, you are?" 

He took her hand and kissed it briefly, his blue eyes twinkling as always.  

"Um, Clara." 

"En chante." 

"Stop it," the Doctor murmured from beside River. 

Jack dropped her hand quickly, and turned on his heel. Still grinning, he looked around again. 

"So, where's Aria?" 

"How do you know Ari?" Clara asked, suddenly very interested in this strange man and whatever information he might have.  

"I'm an old friend." 

"What? How?" The Doctor pressed, stepping towards him. 

"I'll tell you, promise," he swore, raising his hands in surrender, "but first, where is she? I can't tell you until she's here." 

"She's gone," Clara's voice was small, bitter. 

"What?"  

Suddenly, Jack's manner was completely sober. 

"She was with us, but- she had a manipulator, she ran away, it's- it's a long story," River tried. 

When Jack's eyes met hers, she almost stumbled at their sorrow, their piercing regret. 

The Doctor looked between them, just as confused. 

"Jack," he urged gently, "What is it? What's wrong?"

 ~

 

Aria wept freely over Donna for what felt like forever, unwilling to let go, knowing if she moved she would have to accept a cruel and unfair fact: Donna was dead.  

"Well, well, well."

The voice from behind her made her body freeze, and anger rose inside her as she slowly straightened, staring at the wall. The daggers in her eyes could have pierced flesh, and she was counting on it.  

"Poor little Aria. Orphaned. Again." 

Aria was trembling with a violence that she was sure would kill her if she didn't unleash it soon. Vengeance ran through her blood like ice, and she wanted it eased. Wanted someone to pay. With fierce determination, she slowly stood, her back still to this stranger.  

"You can't run now, my pet. It's over." 

She could hear the sickly smile in the deep voice, and turned to face the man with harsh breaths, the air stabbing her lungs each time she inhaled. 

She made a promise, and even in the face of an army, she was determined to keep it. 

She promised she would run. 

She braced herself to fight. 

~

 

Jack was about to find words, when all four were suddenly distracted by a voice and a sudden image on the monitor. 

"Hello, Doctor." 

A man he had never seen before, with a dark voice and shady face was looking at him smugly through the screen. The Doctor and Clara both recognized the familiar purple suit, and exchanged a brief look, before turning back to the man. 

Jack was turned away, holding tightly to the rail, as if he knew something inevitable was happening, and was bracing himself against such knowledge. 

"Where is she?" the Doctor asked with a falsely calm voice, "Where's Aria?" 

"It's too late, Doctor. The Timelord has run out of time." 

River's hand twitched to her gun instinctually, wishing silently that this man were close enough in reality to shoot. 

"Tell us where she is," Clara repeated, venom in her stare. 

The man cackled menacingly. River's hand twitched again.  

"Oh, oh my. You must be the girl. Clara. I have a message for you." 

Clara's expression was stoic, but her heart began to thrash inside her chest. 

"She wants you to know that she loves you," he crooned with mock pity, "And she's sorry." 

Clara backed away from the screen, gaping as she fought of the urge to be ill. Her back hit the rail beside Jack, and she stood there, eyes glazed as her mind raced and stirred at an unbearable pace. Jack regarded her carefully, his eyes still sad and knowing. 

"Enough," River spat, stepping forward. "What have you done to her?" 

"Ah, Doctor Song. Or is it Professor, now? It's good to see you again." 

River's strong mask didn't waver, despite her confusion at the implication of having met this vile creature before. Surely, if she had, he would already be dead.  

"And as far as what's been done to her... well, it was more than we originally intended, I assure you." 

The Doctor felt a growl bubble low in his chest, and his knuckles were white as he almost dented the edge of the console with his grip.  

"Quite the little fighter, you bore there, isn't she?" 

Everything went still. Every face but Jack's went blank as they looked up.

"What?" the Doctor barked. River's throat was dry. 

The man smirked, lifting a metallic black card which he read aloud in a sing-song voice. 

"Aria Noble. Adopted child of Donna Noble. Daughter of the Doctor and River Song." 

If there was air left in the room, nobody could find it. 

The laugh pierced the silence once again.  

"Oh. Oh yes, I was right. They didn't know." 

His eyes were boring into Jack's back, but he refused to turn, his own anger burning. 

"Not that it matters now. Because you'll never see her again." 

The screen went black. 

Inside the blue box, the universe stopped turning. 


	13. Love Loss Longing

No one knew how long they stood standing there, but time had stopped. No one knew how to move forward, and there sure as hell was no going back.  

"Jack," the Doctor finally broke the silence, his voice dry and airy, "Please. Tell me what's going on." 

Jack inclined his head back, taking a deep breath. He turned to them, eyes ghosting over each face. Clara, who was looking at the floor, her face frozen in harsh lines and anguish. River, who was silently gasping for breath, eyes glassy as she clenched her fist in the cloth of her shirt at her stomach. And the Doctor, whose eyes pleaded with him, looking worn and old, but still glistening with the most painful and most necessary aspect of life: hope.  

This was not how he wanted them to find out, but now, he had no choice. He glanced once more back at River, now meeting his eyes in a confused sort of panic, though her body stayed still. He couldn't watch her while he told them. He couldn't bear it. He looked back to the Doctor.  

"He's right," he started, hoping his voice sounded more stable than he felt, "She's yours." 

River released a breath she hadn't known she had been holding. She looked desperately between Jack and the Doctor "But- but how? I mean, I was never-" 

"You were. You just didn't know." 

"How could she not know she was pregnant?" the Doctor asked. 

Jack took another deep breath, and continued: 

"She never got to find out for herself. The Crystal League got hold of her first. That man, those suits... that's who they represent. They originated in the 75th century, no one knows exactly when..." 

"But who are they?" the Doctor demanded. 

"They are... well, they _think_ of themselves as a justice league of sorts. And they may have started that way. But power corrupts the best of us, doesn't it? And they certainly weren't the best of us to begin with. But, people throughout time have grown to fear them, and so, listened and obeyed. And they grew, have been growing ever since. They have more power than you can imagine, more control. And when they heard legends of the Doctor and his wife... they went searching for her, and... long story short, they found her while she was in Stormcage, and... they have people everywhere, they had people on the inside. They were monitoring River. And their technology picked up the pregnancy before she did." 

No one moved. Jack looked around at the stunned and static faces. He went on: 

"They kidnapped her, from the prison, and used Gorasine on her, it's sort of like..." 

"A sedative," the Doctor finished, in a daze, "Very powerful." 

Jack nodded solemnly. "Yes. They kept her at their headquarters throughout her pregnancy, using it to keep her unconscious. They induced labour after the nine months, then took the baby. They sent River back with her manipulator. She had been gone less than five minutes."  

The Doctor felt River's hand grasp his tightly. He immediately leapt into action, taking it in both of his and sweeping his eyes across her overwhelmingly sad expression. She wasn't looking at him, though. Her eyes were on Jack.

 "How-" she cleared her throat, looking for her voice, "How did she end up with Donna?" 

"Torchwood has been tracking, trying to disable the League as best we can for a long time now. We got there not long after they sent you back. We were able to find the baby and get her away from them. But, we knew she wouldn't be safe with anyone from Torchwood, they'd find her too quickly, and it was bound to be dangerous anyways, so... I left her with someone I knew would look after her. Someone you trusted who... wouldn't know anything about you. I left her a note, with a name and telling her to raise her as her own, and she did. We even got her husband a job in New York to try and... throw them off the trail a bit. I tried to keep an eye on her, I gave her the manipulator when she was older and I knew she was going to need help, I spoke with her sometimes. Never too often, I just... wanted to make sure she was alright." 

"The man in the shadows," the Doctor remembered.  

"Yes," Jack confirmed, with a sad smile, "When she turned eighteen, there was... a trace, a natural protection that was lifted and they locked in on her. That's when she started running. They put out word that she was a highly wanted young woman, highly dangerous- they've been spreading it everywhere, the future and the past, planets and stars and- they called her Generation Zero." 

The Doctor shook his head. Now the "Gen Zero: High Alert" thing made sense. They had set the Universe after this one little girl. His little girl. 

"We've been trying to find her ever since, before they did. When I locked onto her manipulator's activity, I followed it here. Then I saw the TARDIS, and I thought... I thought she was..." 

"She was," River nodded, wearing a tense smile that suddenly turned into a sob as she gripped the Doctor's hand. He held hers tighter. "She _was_ with us, but she-" 

"I know," Jack said, stepping forward slightly, wanting to spare her, "She fell right into their trap." 

"So... so Donna?" the Doctor started, knowing what the answer would be.

"Was a way to lure her to them. They'll have... disposed of her, now that they have what they wanted."

The Doctor clenched his jaw, hist stomach lurched in disgust and sorrow. His best friend, dead.

 _Add it to the list,_ he thought bitterly.

"Why?" River asked, shaking her head. She knew, though. This whole scenario was hitting too close to home. 

"She would be their perfect weapon. Against anyone, anything." 

The tears fell from River's eyes and the Doctor watched her face, his own pain running through him in constant, unrelenting waves.

Jack wanted to help, so much. To make this impossible situation better in some small way.  He ventured another step forward.  

"I named her for you," he tried. "Aria, it means..." 

"Song," River finished, nodding. She looked up at him with a grateful smile, contrasting with the sadness falling from her eyes. "I know." 

Jack nodded in understanding, then looked to the Doctor.

"Doctor, I-" 

"Thank you, Jack," he interrupted, his voice wavering, "For doing what I couldn't. For protecting her." 

He was genuine in his gratitude; he shuddered to think what would have happened if it hadn't been for his friend. 

"We'll find her," he swore to the Doctor in return, "I swear, we will find her." 

The Doctor nodded fervently in agreement, his anger rising as his mind raced through unbearable thoughts of Aria in some kind of danger. In every kind of danger. River nodded as well, but her color was pale, and she looked close to collapsing. She squeezed the Doctor's hand once and excused herself, disappearing down the hall. The Doctor's hearts fell again, and he looked at Jack once, who nodded as the Doctor followed his wife into their room. 

Too much. This was too much. 

Once they  were gone, Jack turned to Clara, who hadn't spoken or moved since this whole ordeal started.  

He walked over to her, putting his hands carefully on her arms. 

"Are you alright?" he asked gently. 

Clara looked up at him, brows creased, her eyes dark and heavy. 

"No," she said, shaking her head, "I love her. No, I'm not alright." 

And she left, disappearing into her own room to cry herself dizzy, succumbing to a fast and restless sleep. What else could she do? Maybe when she woke up, it would all have been a horrible dream. 

Alone in the console room, Jack shook himself into focus, and began to plan. 

~

 

The Doctor walked into their room, closing the door and leaning back against it. River was sitting at the edge of the bed, gripping the comforter. 

"Now I know what I'd forgotten," River joked weakly after a moment. 

The Doctor stared longingly at her face, wishing he had some comfort to give, that he could use the words he had alway relied on to fix it; but there were no words that could fix this, for either of them. They were in a loss beyond words, and all they had to lean on was each other.  

She began to sob uncontrollably, her body heaving forward as it looked for a release, an ease that would never come. The Doctor crossed to her immediately, sitting beside her and wrapping her in his arms, holding her close, as a few of his own tears fell silently into her curls.  

"I'm sorry," River breathed into his neck. She hated letting him see her like this, but this was an empty sort of agony she had never known and couldn't battle alone. "I'm sorry, I-" 

The Doctor shook his head, lifting her face and holding it between his hands, so she could see her sadness reflected in his eyes.  

"Don't you dare," he insisted passionately, "Don't you _dare_ apologize to me for this. You've done nothing, River. _Nothing_." He swept his thumbs against her cheeks briefly to catch a few tears, not letting her look away. 

She searched his gaze desperately, wanting to bury herself there, clinging to the sound of his voice. "Our child," she breathed, nearly choking on the words, "Our daughter..." 

He brought her back to his chest in a tight embrace, rocking her and hushing her as he burrowed his face into her hair. 

He kissed her head, once, breathing her in, then her temple, her cheek, until suddenly they were wrapped in a desperate kiss, both wanting so badly to lose themselves in the other, to exist anywhere but in this dense, impaling hurt. The Doctor held her face in a vice grip, his lips molding into hers as his tongue invaded her mouth possessively. River dug her hands fiercely into the front of his shirt, pressing him against her as she moaned into his mouth, a cry in the back of her throat.  

It wasn't enough. They could still feel it.  

So the Doctor moved a hand down to her waist, pressing her against him forcefully, his other hand tangling in her hair. River obliged willingly, pulling him closer with one hand digging nails into his neck, the other wrapping tightly around his shoulder. 

Dragging and pulling, the Doctor moved over her as they lay back on the bed, using the hand in her hair to tug and expose the skin on her neck, which he mouthed at like a starving man, licking and sucking the warm flesh, salt stained from crying, between his teeth. River arched and sighed under him, her breath staggered as she cried out. 

 _More_. They needed more. 

The Doctor buried his face in her neck and breathed harshly as he grabbed her breasts roughly over her shirt, massaging them desperately for a moment, before his hands delved beneath the fabric and repeated the action through the soft material of her bra. River gripped his hair and tugged up almost violently, and he growled into a searing kiss. He moved one hand down beneath her and gripped her bottom tightly, spreading her legs a bit as he moved between them. He worked his hand over her thigh, lifting her leg over his hip, grinding himself against her center, both of them fully clothed but in dire need of friction. They groaned at the feeling.  

River scratched her nails down his chest over his shirt and he shivered. Neither could keep still. If they stilled, they would break. So they just kept moving.  

She grabbed at his jeans, tugging the zipper and the button undone, and pushing it down his hips with his boxers. She held him, hard and aching in her hand, and began to pull at him tightly. He let out a strangled sob that he muffled against her skin, biting her ear and jaw, letting his tongue slide across her skin to soothe it. 

She forced herself to let him go, ripping his shirt open in frustration.  

Skin. They needed skin. 

He kissed her hard on the lips as he shucked it off, lifting hers with a yank over her head. He descended on her breasts once more, clawing the bra down before ripping it in two and throwing it aside, caressing them with his hands and mouth with heightened passion. Her body responded beneath his as she grasped at him, and he pressed his forehead against the smooth plane of her stomach, breathing deeply as he kissed his way further down. She continued to writhe as he let his hands drag along above him. 

River's eyes were closed as she lay her head back to the side and continued her cries of pleasure and gasps of pain.  

The Doctor stopped for a moment at the hem of her denims, biting at the button teasingly and pulling, before gliding his hands purposefully down her body and spreading her thighs as he dragged his lips down the zipper, moving back up to pull it down with his teeth. She was crying out in frustration above him, her breath loud and panting. He kissed her most sensitive spot through the jeans, biting at the rough material, eliciting a shriek from her swollen lips. The sound sent a vibration through him, and he continued roughly working at her through her pants, before finally giving in and undoing the button with quick and trembling fingers. He ripped them down her legs, nails scratching against her soft skin in his haste, and pushed the soaked material of her knickers aside, pawing at the warm, wet flesh and thrusting two fingers inside. His other arm braced across her waist, holding her in place as she arched her hips maddeningly up off the bed.  

She was tight and hot and he pinched his eyes shut, just feeling it, thrusting his fingers inside her, hard and fast. He soon tore the material fully from her restless form, and removed his fingers, licking at her, tasting her, driving her further and further into a frenzy. 

The sounds were melting into him like hot wax as he thrust his tongue inside her, using his bracing hand to move down and thumb at her clit. He growled against her flesh, his own arousal throbbing angrily between his legs. With his free hand, he wrapped his fingers around his burning erection and pumped, his breath becoming hot and frantic. 

She was close, _so_ close as she clawed at his scalp and gripped his hair, her other hand working violently at her breast. She tugged on him, and with a vicious pull, he got up, repositioning himself on top of her between her now dripping thighs.  

Both of them were marked and sweaty and tear stained and raw, and with a final and bruising kiss, he thrust all the way inside of her without hesitation. 

She whined against his lips, and for the first time since this started, they stopped, breathing  heavily and looking at each other, impossible feelings and wishes and losses and desires passing between them wordlessly.  

"Please," River breathed after a moment. A tear escaped her eye, which the Doctor caught with his lips as he pressed his head against her temple. She wrapped her legs around him firmly and touched his face with a gentle caress. "Please, my love. Move. Please." 

And he did, crashing into her with unspeakable passion and need. She met him thrust for thrust, murmuring "please" over and over again in his ear, and he strived to meet her demands. The Doctor chanted her name like his life depended on it as he let his head take refuge in the damp skin between her neck and shoulder, and they moved and panted until they both screamed release and came undone together. 

They remained still then, the Doctor still deep inside her as they both fought for breath, both unwilling to let go.

Eventually, River started to cry again, and the Doctor gently released her, only to lay on his back and bring her closely into him so she could nuzzle into his neck and sob against him. He held her tightly, never letting go as he rubbed her back and arm soothingly, whispering words of love and support and promises that they would find Aria. They would get her back and be a family. They would never be apart again. 

With each word, his hearts broke more and more. They would find Aria. He would make sure of it. He wouldn't lose another child. _Their_ child. But a tear fell as he clung to the woman in his arms, knowing full well his time with her was dwindling every second, no matter how hard he fought. 

You can't run forever. 

But he'd never before had such reasons to try.  

 


	14. One Step Forward, Two Steps Back

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Short chapter, more coming soon!

River, exhausted, quickly succumbed to sleep. 

The Doctor carefully maneuvered her out of his arms, tucking her now-cool body snugly under the covers. He kissed her forehead sweetly, retreiveing some clothes from the closet and dressing before quietly leaving the room.  

He was heading to the console room when he passed Clara's door, and suddenly remembered her. Guilt overwhelmed him as he ran his hands over his face, taking a breath and knocking softly on her door. 

"Yeah?"  

He turned the knob, opening it slowly, and stepped inside. "Hey," he said softly, trying to gauge her expression. She didn't look up.  

"Hey."  

She was sitting on the floor in front of the bed, leaning back against it with her knees to her chest. Her sleeep had been short and fitful, and she didn't want to bother anymore. She was intently picking at nothing on her black tights as she held herself tightly. 

The Doctor sighed and, closing the door, sat beside her.  

"Are you okay?" 

"Do I have to answer that?" 

The Doctor bit his lip as he studied her face. It was like everything about her was suddenly stoic, her limbs made of stone. It was worriesome and he realised: she was trying to hold herself together. 

"Not if you don't want to, I suppose."

"Good," she replied simply. 

He fidgetted his fingers for a moment. "But, if you're upset you know you can talk to me. You don't have to pretend." 

"Don't I?" she countered, suddenly looking up at him. He saw now that her eyes were raw from being rubbed and puffy from crying. 

"I-" 

"No, Doctor, it's just-" she struggled to find the words, cosing her eyes and taking a deep breath, "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to snap, it's just... I love her," her voice broke on the word, but she inhaled and exhaled slowly again, tired of crying. "But she's your _daughter_ , you and River- and... you can't be worrrying about how I feel, because I know, it's not nearly as important," she gripped at her chest, suddenly overwhelmed, "But it _feels_ -" 

But the Doctor cut her off, shushing her as he brought her into a warm and much needed hug. She returned it willingly, and let the sadness take her for a moment more.  

"Listen to me," the Doctor said firmly, "You care about her as much as we do. You love her. Your love for her is not worth less than mine or River's. Please, Clara, don't you dare to think otherwise." 

She nodded gratefully against his chest, and the Doctor soothed her gently, before making a decision. He lifted her face to look at her, placing a hand on either side of her head.  

"It's going to be alright. I promise." 

And with that, he flooded her mind, wrapping it in darkness and sending her into a deep, deep sleep. She fell against him, unconscious, and he hugged her to him once more. 

"I'm sorry," he whispered. 

He lifted her back onto her bed, tucking her into the sheets since rumpled by her nightmares. He glanced back once more as he left, power locking the door shut with his screwdriver.  

He walked with determined strides back into the console room, typing a few things into the system and hearing a few sharp clicks resonate down the halls. He sighed and leaned over the console with his head dropped. She wouldn't be happy with him, but he did what had to be done. 

Jack had been on the other side of the controls, typing coordinates and communicating with Torchwood on his own personal device, which looked rather like a large, chunky mobie phone.  

"How are you?" he asked, coming over to the Doctor. 

He laughed once, humorlessly. "How do you think?" 

Jack sighed, looking back at the device, then up at him. "We're planning an attack on their headquarters, and infultration, if you will," he informed him, "We're just trying to get a lock on _when_ exactly they've taken her to."

The Doctor nodded gravely. "Good." 

"Doctor-" 

"Listen to me," he said, straightening and looking at Jack, "I need to tell you somehting. Clara... she can't be involved in this. It's too dangerous, so, I've sort of... induced a rather powerful sleep in her and I"ve put extra barriers on her room. I'm going to contnue to do so, so that there's no way she can get out. When we leave to take care of this, I'm invoking a maximum security protocol on the TARDIS, so that no matter what happens to my ship," he patted the controls fondly, "No matter who gets their hands on it, there isn't a hope of them getting inside. I just wanted you to be aware."

Jack was listening intently, his brows furrowed. "Okay. Can I ask why?" 

"Because she's like me," the Doctor answered with a sad smile, "She'll go to... dangerous lengths to save the woman she loves." 

"And I shouldn't be worried about you and River being just as rash?" he countered with a quirked eyebrow. 

"No, no, of course you should," he agreed quickly, "But this whole situation is something I can't have Clara be a part of, she isn't... River and I can handle it. Clara's smart, she's strong but... this is too much. Do you know what I mean?" 

"Yes. Yeah, I do." 

"Good. Thank you." 

River soon appeared at the top of the stairs, newly dressed in her jodhpurs, white shirt, and leather jacket. She held her thick black boots in her hands and sat on the top step, beginning to lace them.  

"What's with all the metal over Clara's door?" 

The Doctor looked at her slightly warily, taking a step forward.  

"You didn't sleep long," he ventured carefully, ignoring her question, "Are you-" 

"I'm fine," she replied quickly, that false, appeasing smile set on her face, "Let's get going." 

The Doctor nodded once, backing off when he sensed she was in no mood for him to argue.  

Jack stepped in, still concentrating on his work. "We'll be off as soon as I know where to go," he promised, indicating his device. 

River sighed, running a hand through her hair in restless frustration. She stood as the last laces were done, tying it into a ponytail and going over to fiddle with the controls so that everything was cleared and ready for them.  

The Doctor watched her movements. 

"So we're looking Clara in her room, are we?" she looked up at him beneath from beneath her lids as she worked.  

"Uhm, yes. Yes, I think it's for the best."

"Probably right." 

"River..." the Doctor brushed a stray hair out of her face with his fingers. "Are you sure you're alright? You feel quite cold." 

"I splashed some cold water on my face. I'm fine." 

 _Click. click. click_.

"Did you have a nightmare?" 

"Of course I did." 

 _Click. click. click._  

She was clicking at nothing now. Pressing buttons and pulling things that needn't be pulled, fidgetting in an increasingly hurried manner. 

The Doctor put a hand over hears to still it, to steady her. Her eyes fluttered shut as she stopped, regaining control of her breath. She looked at him, smiling gently, before looking down again and patting a lever lightly, and dropping her hands back down. The Doctor still kept one of them in his.  

"Sorry," she said quietly, "I'm just... sorry." 

"Stop," he rubbed the skin of her hand with his thumb, "Come here." 

He wrapped his arms around her waist, hugging her close. She closed her eyes and wound her arms around his neck, relaxing in his embrace. He held her that way for some time, until Jack's voice broke the hum of silence. 

"Got it," he said triumphantly, "We've got it." 

He tossed the device to the Doctor, who caught it, looking at the screen with River looking over his shoulder, to see the coordinates.  

"Ha ha! Yes!" he declared victoriously, tossing it back to Jack. River was already moving, and the Doctor followed as they began to send the ship into motion. "Jack, you are bloody brilliant, you are!" 

"Aw, now Doc, no fliriting in front of the wife. It's unseemly," he joked, filled with the same triumphant joy.  

River smiled brightly as the Doctor rolled his eyes with the same wide grin.  

With a jolt the TARDIS landed. They checked the monitor and uploaded a map of the large building that served as headquarters, memorizing it as best they could. They put up every defense the TARDIS could manage to ensure Clara's protection ( _and, well, her captivity_ ) and cloaked the ship in invisibility.

As soon as they were satisfied that everything was in order, the Doctor and River locked hands, almost barreling through the doors as Jack blocked their way and stopped them. 

"Hold on- I know you're antsy, but take a moment, okay? Please." 

They looked at each other and nodded, taking a breath. River checked to make sure she had her manipulator, her gun, her med-scanner. Her tool belt was holstered firmly on her hips. The Doctor had the sonic, the psychic paper. They were ready. They needed to go. 

"Okay, we're good now, promise, let's go," the Doctor rambled, making to move forward again. 

"When we get out there," Jack said importantly, stalling them once more, "I'm going around to the main part of the building through the south tunnel. We've practically got an army here and I need to configure a way to get them in. You're going to the north-west corner of Level B, that's most likely where they're keeping her. Don't do anything until you get word from me, understood?" 

In that moment, the Doctor and River both looked like children who were being ordered around or reprimanded. The Doctor looked around, shifting his feet, and River sighed with a great roll of her eyes, squinching her face as if having tasted something sour. 

Jack cleared his throat. "I said, understood?" 

"Yes, yes." 

"Fine."

With a final sigh, Jack slowly opened the doors. He nodded at both of them before running stealthily down a sleek silver hall, turning a corner and disappearing. River took out her gun, the Doctor his sonic, and they leveled them as they began to walk swiftly, but quietly, in the opposite direction. 

When they turned the hall, they backed up almost immediately, River thrusting her arm out to bring the Doctor back. A guard was walking up and down the cold black metal in the direction they needed to go.  

She looked once at her husband apologetically. "I'll just taze him, promise." 

And in a flash she had jumped out, flicking a switch and firing her weapon with alarming precision as the guard was thrown to the wall, slumping to the floor. 

 _Like mother like daughter_ , the Doctor thought, holding back a prideful grin. 

They waited a moment to see if anyone ran to him, but he seemed to be alone, and so they continued their journey, following the small plaques on the wall and their memory to guide them.  

They wound through countless hallways, up wrought iron steps, through tunnels and vents, for what seemed like forever, River tazing two or three more guards along the way. They were both getting nervous. It was taking too long, and sooner or later those incapacitated guards would be found, and then all hell was sure to break loose. 

They had just dropped through a vent into a purple glass hallway, when both of them were suddenly hit with a flash of pain and engulfed in total, all consuming darkness, knocked unconscious to the floor. 


	15. Things Without All Remedy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (Chapter Title from Shakespeare's Macbeth)
> 
> *There are very vague implications of sexual abuse in this scene, but nothing implicit or graphic. Just thought I'd warn to be safe.

The Doctor awoke with a gasping breath, head groggy as he lifted up on his elbows to try and see where he was. He looked around, but all he could see was darkness, all he could feel was the harsh cold of the concrete floor below him.  

"River," he called softly, surprised by the hoarseness of his voice. He cleared his throat, summoning a stronger sound, "River?" 

"Mmm..." The muffled moan that crawled out in response came from somewhere close, but not in the same room. 

"River?" he tried again, slowly standing and groping in the darkness, hands finding purchase on a wall as unforgiving as the floor.  

From another room not unlike his and not far away, River was being awoken by the Doctor's voice. She lifted her tired head up, aching as she tried to see through the blackness around her, groaning as she tried to find words to respond to him. 

"Ungh... Doctor?" 

She stood as the Doctor had, finding a similar wall. 

"River, are you alright?" 

"I'm fine, I'm fine. Are you alright? Where are you?" 

They both leaned in as they realized they were speaking to the same wall. 

"I'm right-" 

"Next to me, I know." 

"Where are we? Can you see anything?"

"No, no. It's dark. Can you?" 

"Nothing. Hang on..." The Doctor reached into his pocket to retrieve his sonic, only to find that it wasn't there. "Dammit." 

"What is it?" 

"They've got my screwdriver." 

River sighed in frustration, running a hand over her head as she tried to think. Suddenly, she went to feel her wrist, but as she feared, her vortex manipulator was also gone. Her belt, her weapons, all of it... Of course it was. 

This wasn't good.

"Okay... let's see then..."  She began to feel around carefully, then suddenly felt an all-too-familiar iron bar against her skin.  "Doctor. These are cells."

"What?" 

"Cells. There are bars, I can feel them." 

The Doctor scratched at his head furiously. How had they captured them? And, not that he was complaining, but why were they still alive? 

But all thoughts and questions dropped from his mind when out of nowhere a bright light snapped on, drenching them in harsh reality. 

It took them a moment to adjust to the blinding sensation, and when their eyes focused, it landed on a figure in the center of the wide, open room in front of them, walls and floor an oppressive white. The man from the screen was standing before them with his arms behind his back, wearing a sneer that made River once again long for her gun.  

"Good morning!" he greeted in mock brightness. 

River gripped the bars as if to break them, her eyes burning in their blue green setting.  

"Where is she?" she demanded, her voice low and deadly. 

The man looked questioningly from her to the Doctor, who had only tensed his body where he stood, afraid to move for fear of exploding, and turned his glare to the purple devil.

"Answer her," he growled. 

The man's thin lips spread back into a menacing grin, as if he had been anticipating, and in fact, _counting on_ this demand. 

He turned his head slightly to a door on the opposite wall, his voice caressing the air like stolen velvet. 

"Bring her." 

Both captive parents held their breath as the door swung open with a deafening swish. 

Another man in similar attire (a difference in hue signifying what the Doctor guessed was his inferior position of authority) holding Aria by the back of the neck. Her wrists were bound behind her, and though they had only been apart from her a short time, her eyes looked heavy and mournful, as if they had aged decades in a matter of days.; had seen the sort of things one might see in a particularly dark and troubled lifetime.  

Her face was subtly caked in grime, the tone of her muscles slightly more pronounced, and there were scars marking her body that hadn't been there before. Her ponytail was high and wild, reminiscent of her mother's mane, and her clothes were dark and lifeless, clinging to her body as if they were on the brink of melting into the air. 

River felt her stomach lurch at the sight. The Doctor suddenly missed the dark ignorance he had awoken in as he took a similar stance to River, holding the bars with a death grip in his increasingly sweaty palms.  

She was brought in roughly and held beside the apparent man in charge. Her eyes had yet to meet either River's or the Doctor's, and she held them obediently to the floor. Her features were set in stone, and her eyes were blank in their coldness. 

It was startling to see no warmth in such a warm human being. 

Even when he had found her after a year of running on her own, he had never seen her look so beaten. It broke his hearts. 

It made him angry. 

River's own fury she barrelled against for the time being, needing to conenct with her daughter. 

"Aria?" she spoke gently. 

Aria's eyes flicked up, and looked back at her, her eyes widening in surprise. "M-mom?" 

River exhaled deeply at the sound, tears stinging her eyes. It was the first time they had seen each other since River found out that Aria was hers, and she didn't know what her captors would have told her. She had never been called mom before, and the feeling suddenly overwhelmed her. 

"Oh, sweetheart..." she breathed. 

The Doctor felt as though he wasn't inside his body anymore. The longer he looked at her, the more his anger rose, and he turned his attention back to the man beside her, who was watching the scene with far too much pleasure. 

"What have you done to her?" 

"Dad?" 

The sound split both his hearts in two, his eyes were suddenly soft as he looked to her. 

She was looking at him with such longing and confusion, he wanted nothing more than to wrap her in his arms and take her pain for his own. And never let her out of his sight again. 

River and the Doctor both felt each other wish in that moment they could at least be in a cell together. Bearing this alone was debilitating, but they supposed that was probably the point. 

"I can promise you," the man finally spoke up, "that what's been done-" he caressed Aria's cheek with the back of his hand, she twitched in disgust and snapped her eyes back to the ground, "-can hardly compare to what's about to be." 

The Doctor's eyes were fire again as he glared at him. 

"What do you mean?" 

The man began to pace around in front of Aria and her captor. "Oh, you'll see. But first, I've forgotten my manners. My name is Agent Onyx. I'm the head of Special Projects for the Crystal League. I assume, by now, you know who we are." 

"Unfortunately," River spat. 

The man grinned. "Then you must understand how important our work is, how important your daughter is to what we do. We're grateful to you, really. It's because of your profound combination of genetics that she is such a very... special project, indeed." 

River growled, her voice drenched in murder. The Doctor's grip on the rusty bars was drawing blood as he spat, "If you don't let her go, right now, I swear on every star in every galaxy-" 

"You'll what?" Onyx interrupted with a roll of his eyes, "Forgive me, Doctor, but you're hardly in a position of power here. Now, if you'll allow me to continue..." 

"Don't hurt her," River's voice rang in, the Doctor unable to miss the slight waver in her strong voice, "Don't you dare." 

Onyx roared in laughter. Aria grimaced. 

"Oh my, my, my, really? That's you're request?" Then, his face changed as if something had dawned on him. Something delightful. "You don't realize, do you? You don't see?" 

"See what?" The Doctor demanded skeptically. 

"Aria, dear," Onyx said sweetly, turning to her, "Tell your parents how long it's been since you've seen them last." 

Her lips tensed, but she remained silent. Onyx's face became suddenly sharp as he repeated the question more firmly. 

Continuing to look to the ground, she responded in a weak voice.  

"Five years." 

River let out a noise that sounded like a strangled sob as she felt her stomach hollow out. The Doctor retreated, shaking his head in disbelief. "No, no, no..." her murmured, raking his hands through his hair.  

"Oh, yes, yes, y-" 

"NO!" the Doctor bellowed, his anger bursting forth with a deadly blow. He shook the bars vigorously, but Onyx continued to watch with a bemused expression. River ground her teeth at him as the water fell from her eyes and her stomach continued to knot relentlessly.  

A tear fell silently down Aria's cheek and landed on the floor where she held her gaze. 

When the shaking finally subsided, the Doctor's haggard, stabbing breaths were all that could be heard. River kept opening her mouth as if to speak, but no words would come.  

"I think you're ready now," Onyx broke the silence, nodding to the man holding Aria, who brought her before him, roughly forcing her to kneel to the ground still facing River and the Dotctor. The man disappeared behind the door once more.  

"Let me explain," Onyx continued, pacing again, "In order for our prize weapon to be fully in our control, there's one more thing we have to do." 

The other man returned, wheeling in a metallic silver machine.

"Now, we've already been working very hard on her mental and physical nature, of course, disposed of one emotional tie-" the reference to Donna made Aria's jaw clench, and the Doctor chest burn- "And, as for you two- we'll drop you off on some far off planet or floating scrap of metal with no connections, no time travel, no weapons, and no hope of ever finding us again. The girl, Clara- well, we'll find her eventually. She can't hide forever. Just like you couldn't, pet." 

At Clara's mention, her breath hitched and her eyes blazed. Onyx ran his hand over her head, which she jerked away in defiance, reaching her head forward as if to bite him. She was fighting, even after all this time.  

"Aww, I do love when you're feisty," he crooned as he ripped his hand out of reach.  

"Now all we need to have to complete this endeavor is, well- her lives." 

Everything went still again. 

Onyx smirked at their new expressions. He pulled a large plug-like extension from the machine, the metal coil snaking as he pulled it. The two prongs at the end were sharp and sterile looking, sparkling in the harsh light.  

"This is another very special project of ours, made in preparation for your daughter," he handled the object fondly as he spoke, "It's called the Vicollectora. With it, we'll be extracting her twelve regenerations, leaving her body with nothing but the life she was born with. Now, whenever we use her, of course, we will re-dispense a single one into her system, to protect our invaluable weapon. But we will be in control. Without us, she'll have none. Without us... she will die." 

They remained still. They couldn't comprehend what he was saying. Wouldn't accept it. 

"Of course, it won't be a pleasant process. Frankly, extracting each regeneration will take about ten minutes a piece, and it will be... painful. Quite painful. Sucking the life out of her, and all," he added, laughing lightly at his own sick joke. 

"Y-you can't," the Doctor faltered. 

"Oh, but we are." 

Onyx handed the heavy chord to the other man before speaking again. "Pity really," his eyes raked darkly over Aria's form, "To think of her inevitable regenerations when I've so enjoyed... the original."  

He looked up to the Doctor with a wink, who in turn bared his teeth like a man possesed, shaking at the bars once more. River continued to seethe and pine for breath, and she swore she could almost hear the bars giving as he tore at them. She wished they would.  

"Please," she tried, desperate. 

Onyx simply looked at her smugly, and held her gaze as he spoke to his partner.  

"Now." 

The man pulled up at the ponytail on Aria's head, and violently shoved the sharp prongs into the back of her neck. She lurched slightly from the pressure and pain, trying to stifle the sound that forced its way out of her.  

"Please," the Doctor tried, repeating River's sentiments. 

Aria's breathing was labored as she tried to brace herself. Onyx walked slowly around to the hub of the machine, looked at them all once more, and locked eyes with the Doctor as he flipped the switch, the machine whirring to violent life.  

Aria's screams pierced the room; the pain was overwhelming. It was like dying. And it would continue to be. The lives buried within her were being ripped from her body one by one, as much as she resisted, and she could feel all of it leaving her. Physically. Mentally. Every cell of her body and soul on fire; everything that could hurt, did. Things being stripped and torn away.   

 _Pain_.  

She was being emptied into vials, that the man was setting up as the machine did its work. 

The Doctor began to rage, thrashing about in his cell as he tried to break free. He couldn't bear it. The sounds, her face... he had to stop it and he was helpless to do anything.  

River, panicking as she silently sought a similar out, suddenly stopped, her eyes settling on her child, writhing and hunched over in unspeakable and unending agony. She heard the click of glass as the man switched vials, confirming the end of the first ten minutes. He clicked a seal on her bottled life, and stocked it in a wooden bank, with eleven empty slots waiting. The cycle continued. 

River was attempting to steady her breath as she lowered herself to her knees, having made a decision. There was nothing, _nothing_ they could do to stop this. The Doctor was beside himself, and Aria was suffering only a few feet away from her. She couldn't protect her, though her desire to do so was consuming and raw, but there was something she _could_ do. 

She was dying, but she didn't have to die alone.  

"Aria," she said, now at her eye level. Her voice was as strong and serene as she could make it. "Aria, darling, look at me." 

Aria's silent sobs were painted across her face. She winced, but River's voice was strong. 

"No, no, look at me," and she did, her expression desperate and beside herself. "I'm here," River promised. "Stay with me, love, I'm right here." 

Aria did her best to nod, understanding and grateful. For the next two hours, she was brought to greater and greater heights of pain. The only thing stopping her from giving in, from wishing that a real death would take her just to end the inescapable torture, was the sound of her mother's voice as she continued to soothe her. A few tears escaped River's eyes in silence, but she ignored them, careful not to break her eyes away from her daughter. As much as the sight shook her to the core, she persisted, so that even when Aria was doubled over in this torment, she would always come back to her. 

The Doctor had continued in his wrathful fit for most of the time, unable to really help it. But after an hour and a half, he fell helplessly against the back of the cell, sliding down the wall and burying his head in his hands as he listened to River do what he couldn't, clinging to her voice as much as Aria was.  

As the last vial clicked shut, Aria collapsed sideways onto the floor. The Doctor scrambled forward on his knees, leaning into the bars once more and beginning to rail at Onyx. 

"Did you-?" 

"No she's fine, she's breathing," River said in relief, her voice shaking slightly as the last couple of hours took their toll.  

Onyx looked at his watch, then to the man now closing the precious bank. "About time," he whined, yawning. "See she's delivered to my quarters when you're done here." 

And without another glance to the fuming Doctor and River in the cells, he turned and headed for the door.  

He was about to reach for the knob, however, when it was violently kicked open, smacking him square in the face and knocking him unconscious as he fell to the floor with a thud. 

"Well, that worked out well."  

Jack Harkness was standing in the doorway with his gun ready, looking down at the knocked out enemy. He was flanked by a man and a woman, dressed in black military-like uniforms, who were also armed.  

He noticed the other man, who was suddenly reaching for his weapon, and walked up to him with a smile. 

"Oh, hello." 

And with a single punch, the man was out before he could lift the gun from its holster.  

Quickly, he grabbed the wooden box with steady, careful hands and handed it to one of his colleagues.  

"Trevor, get this to the escape pod safely, and get it out of here. Do not stop. Do not linger anywhere. GO." 

Trevor nodded, cradling it under his arm and running out the door. The woman began to fully disable the unconscious men on the floor, tazing and cuffing them. Jack rushed to the cells.  

"Jack!" The Doctor cried in grateful surprise. He and River both scrambled to their feet, restless to be set free.  

Jack pulled out the Doctor's sonic, releasing them both, and tossing it to him. "Thought you might be missing this." 

Before he could say anything else, a red alarm was blaring in the room around them and in many rooms beyond. Jack looked at them both once more, confirming they were (at least physically) okay, then turned to his companion as he ran from the room.  

"Gina, check the second warehouse with Red and Hallick, I'm going up to the control rooms and I'll meet you there!" 

Gina left after him, running in the opposite direction.  

River and the Doctor ran immediately to Aria, kneeling beside her and trying to assess the damage, even knowing full well what it was. River held her face, wiping the hair sticking to her forehead and cheeks away. The Doctor released her binds and helped her fall gently so she was lying on her back, checking both her wrists as River continued to stroke her face gently. 

"Doctor," she said, her voice forcibly measured and frightening, "Stay with her." 

He nodded tensely, knowing what she was going to do, and feeling no desire to stop her. 

"I'll be right back." 

He didn't look up, but he heard the shuffling and inevitable gunshot near the door as Onyx was sent to his end. And River ran out, looking for more blood. 


	16. Haunted

River was running around with ice in her blood, driving her forward with a lust for revenge.

 

~

 

The Doctor picked up Aria's head, cradling it on his lap as the rage that had been storming inside him melted into a dull, aching sadness. 

 

~

 

River tried, with all her might, to only kill when someone fought her. But that didn't mean she didn't wish that all who crossed her path might fight, so that then she'd have an excuse. All that blood; she wanted it to be enough to satiate this desperate, helpless feeling. But she knew it never would.

 

~

 

The Doctor cried freely over his daughter, holding her close, grief over all that had happened tinged with a slight relief that at least it was finished, and she was still alive. The alarms continued to blare, numbing everything. 

 

~

 

River's breathing was hard and heaving as she stopped in front of a room. She straightened immediately when she read the plaque by the heavy door with a small, barred window barely the size of her face:

**"GENERATION ZERO: ARIA NOBLE"**

She felt her heart rate jump inside her chest, looking up and down the long empty hall. It was empty, save for the few disabled guards scattered about, and quiet save the alarms. She was standing outside the room that had been her daughter's prison for the past five years.

_Five years._

She shook away the reminder, sure that it would surface later at a more appropriate time to wallow.

All her life, nothing had been quite right. Her childhood, lost. All the time without her family. Those endless days in Stormcage and being forced to murder the man she loved. Their infinitely twisted timelines. And then these people dared to take her child. Hadn't she given the Universe enough?

She pursed her lips before giving into the temptation, and opened the door.

 

~

 

The Doctor, calmer now, continued to sit with the unconscious Aria, rocking her gently.

"I should have known," he started softly, "I should have guessed it. All that time, there were so many signs, you know. The TARDIS letting you in, letting you fly her. The manipulator, the running, that hair..." he added with a smile, "so much like your mother's. And you're brilliant, you're so, so... brilliant. And strong," he thought back to all the times before she was taken, her attitude and flair. _So much like River_ it hurt. "I think I felt it before I knew. Because... I loved you like a daughter almost instantly, wanted to protect you. But I failed there, didn't I? All that stuff in this wise old head of mine and none of it matters, really. Does it, now?" 

He kissed the top of her head, holding her tightly. "I'm sorry," he whispered, "I'm so, so sorry."

"Doctor," Jack's voice was quiet as he looked somberly on the scene, "It's time to go."

The Doctor inclined his head slightly, nodding once, setting his features into a hard line as he stood, lifting Aria in his arms and walking past Jack through the door.

He was too distracted to notice that Jack wouldn't meet his eyes.

A few other Torchwood members went with Jack as they lead the Doctor to his TARDIS, which, to their amazement, had not been moved. The cloak had been successful enough, and the Doctor entered with Jack trailing along behind.

No sooner had they stepped in than their ears were met with furious banging and muffled screams. The Doctor froze with Aria still in his arms, letting out a sigh.

"Clara," he muttered, his voice small.

Jack still wasn't looking at him, but he made a soft noise of confirmation as the Doctor headed down the hallway.

He stopped at Aria's room to lay her gently on the bed, noting that the small cluster of stars were covering most of the room now. Normally, he'd wonder why, but at the moment he couldn't care less.

He sat beside her for a moment, touching her face briefly before reluctantly leaving the room, closing the door. He took a breath to brace himself as he headed to release Clara. 

He looked at the large metal plate sealing it shut, a small wave of guilt passing through him. But it subsided quickly; he couldn't regret protecting her life and sparing her what he and River had just been subjected too. Although he knew there was no way to protect her from the things she was going to find out. The muffled bangs and shouts demanding to be let out were relentless as he stood there. He took one more breath, and reached into his pocket. 

Pulling out his sonic, the Doctor pointed it at the door, the metal snapping away and the bolts unlocking. Within seconds, it was flung open, Clara falling through as she had been barreling against it to break free. 

The Doctor caught her swiftly in his arms, and with a gasp, she realized what had happened. She began banging her fists tirelessly on his chest, tears streaming down her face as she yelled.

"How could you do that to me?! Why? _Why_ would you do that, I could have helped! I could have-!"

"Clara, Clara!" The Doctor calmly maneuvered back away from her blows as he firmly gripped her shoulders, shaking her a bit and forcing her to stop shouting and look at him.

"Clara," he said more quietly, "Listen to me. She needs you."

Her expression fell immediately, and she stopped struggling.

"Is she... she's...?"

"I'll explain it to you later," the Doctor said, stalling, "Now, I know you're angry with me, and you can yell at me all you like later, promise," he added with a weak, tired smile. "But right now, you just need to go be with her, yeah?"

Clara swallowed hard and nodded, wiping her eyes quickly before turning and walking away, the Doctor gently releasing her arms as he watched her go. He leaned forward and braced his hands against the wall, taking a moment and pinching his eyes shut. He was exhausted. He rubbed his face roughly and let out a vocal sigh, before straightening and heading back to the console room. 

Jack was standing, leaning against the controls with his arms crossed as he shuffled his feet, brows furrowed in concentration.

The Doctor was still unaware of his evasiveness.

Jack got up when he saw the Doctor enter, looking at him with worried eyes. The Doctor, however, was looking around, disoriented.

"Doctor-"

"River," the Doctor said suddenly, slightly panicked, "Where's River..."

And with that, he left the TARDIS once more in search of his wife, leaving Jack to pace around the quiet ship and wait. 

 

~

 

Clara stood outside Aria's bedroom, staring at the door. The Doctor's words had worried her, his tone and the barely hidden anguish in his voice. For some reason, she was scared. Scared of what she might see should she open the door. 

 _She needs me_ , she thought. And bucking up, she knocked quietly in warning, and slowly stepped inside. 

"Ari?" she started, but she quickly saw that she was fast asleep. 

Clara walked to the end of the bed and looked down at her.

"Oh... Aria..."

She let out a shaking breath when she was the extent of whatever damage had been done. Her eyes watered at the sight of her, so exhausted and beaten and fragile... Her anger was only overwhelmed by her sudden need to touch her, to heal her. 

She walked around to the side of the bed, climbing onto it  quietly so as not to wake her. Carefully, she scooted in so she was pressed in behind her, draping her arm around Aria's waist. She held her close, afraid that if she didn't Aria might disappear again. She nuzzled gently into the back of her neck, breathing her in.

"Oh my beautiful-" she pressed her lips gently but lovingly to her skin "-beautiful girl."

Something was wrong, Clara could sense it. Something besides the obvious. She had only been separated from her for a brief while, but her body felt different in some way. 

She closed her eyes and forgot it for the time being, suddenly aching and feeling as though she had been missing her for years.

 

~

 

The walls were black. 

The floor was stone and cold.

There were no windows, save the small square on the door that she guessed was more for them than for Aria.

The only thing on the wall was an intercom and a vent, which River walked up to, tracing the deep marks that lined the wall beside the grate. Scratch marks.

She had been trying to escape.

_Five years._

There was one light receded into the ceiling, white and unforgiving, but no switch inside the room that River could see. 

They could blind her with darkness whenever they wanted. 

She felt a wave of nausea pass through her, and she sat on the small, hard bed tucked in the corner. 

River felt her body tremble a bit as she pinched her eyes shut and tried to catch her breath. She looked around once more and noticed the corner of something dark tucked beneath the pillow. Yanking it out, her breath caught when she realized what she was holding.

It was a thin, leather-bound book.

Aria had kept a diary.

 

~

 

_Nightmares._

_Pulling, thrashing, scathing, burning._

_Her body being ripped to pieces._

_Her life being bled right out of her body._

_Twelve times._

_And still, there was no rest._

_Nightmares._

_Violence._

_More darkness._

_More nightmares._

 

~

 

The Doctor ran up and down hallways, half-terrified that something had happened to River. But he was reassured by the firm belief that she of all people could handle herself. And that she had been in a fury. 

So he continued to run, trying to think logically about where she might be.

If there was one thing he was sure no one could conquer, it was an angry River Song.

As he ran down another glass hallway, he suddenly had an idea where he might find her, and turned around, heading down the stairs to a another corridor. 

 

~

 

River took a deep breath, tracing her fingers restlessly across the cover. She didn't want to know. But she decided that she had to.

Bracing herself, she opened it to the first page.

" _Day 1,795_ "

River realized if it started here, there must have been more than the diary in her hands before it. A lot more. 

She kept reading.

_"Here we go again. Another diary. I've lost count of how many, but not the days. Never the days. The therapist they make me see every week has been asking me for years now to write the date, that counting the days just supports the delusion that they're coming back for me. I don't know anymore whether I'm doing it because I still think they're coming or just to spite him, as he also thinks I don't know that they give me these diaries so that they can read them and track my mental state, get inside my head. Hello, Dr. Gill._

_But I don't care, I don't have anything left. So I'll write whatever the hell I want in here and they can discern from that whatever the hell they want."_

Stopping for a moment, her pulse racing, River flipped to the last page with writing.

It was dated with yesterday's date.

" _Maybe I should stop counting._ " 

Holding the book to her chest, River began to sob.

 

~

 

It hadn't taken him long to find her.

He stopped across the hall, catching a glimpse of her hair through the doorway. He watched her, his chest tight when he realized what room she was in. He had been hoping his inkling was wrong.

She was on the bed, gripping the sides firmly, her body stiff and still as she stared at the floor.

Cautiously, he walked towards the room, stopping in the open doorframe.

Sensing someone, River immediately drew the gun she had taken from Onyx and pointed towards the intruder without looking, then turned her blazing eyes to see who it was. The Doctor had thrown his arms up in surrender quickly.

"River, River it's me!"

Her face had fallen when she saw his face, dropping the gun quickly to the bed.

"Oh, sweetie, I'm sorry, I didn't- I thought..."

The Doctor hushed her swiftly with a gentle wave of his hands, coming to sit beside her. "Don't be, see? No harm done."

He watched her face carefully as she returned her eyes to the floor. 

They were both so very tired.

Slowly, he put his hand over hers and held it tightly. After a moment, she twisted it in his grip so that she could return the grasp. They sat holding hands for a moment in silence. Everything River had noticed about the room settled in on the Doctor, the weight of where they were weighing heavy on them both.

FInally, the Doctor stood, pulling River up with him and keeping her hand tightly in his. 

"Come on," he said gently, cupping her face and kissing her forehead. He pressed his own forehead to hers for a moment and sighed. "Let's get out of here."

 

~

 

Back in the TARDIS, Jack was still waiting as a worn Doctor and River walked through the doors. 

"One of my colleagues, Clark, he found where they had stashed your things," he started, acknowledging the pile of confiscated items on the jump chair.

River nodded solemnly at it, then turned her eyes to Jack. She walked over to him slowly, wrapping her arms around his shoulders and hugging him. "Thank you," she breathed quietly. 

A wave of guilt surged through Jack as he hesitantly returned the embrace. 

"Really, Jack," the Doctor agreed, stepping up to him and hugging him after River. He stepped back with his hands on Jack's shoulders. "I don't know how to thank you, I don't..."

Jack shook his head, stepping away and turning.

"You don't have to thank me. Please."

The Doctor and River exchanged a glance, the Doctor moving forward slightly.

"Jack, what's wrong?"

He saw his friend's shoulders lift and fall with a great breath, and Jack turned to face him, his eyes full of apology and regret.

"Trevor, the man who had taken the bank with Aria's regenerations... he was shot on his way to the escape pod, and... he died."

"Oh, Jack..." River started.

"I'm so sorry," the Doctor said, shaking his head.

"The woman who shot him," Jack pressed on, "She was the vice-president of the League, and... she knew we had headquarters taken, and she... she smashed the vials. She shattered them all. We tried... we tried to recover them, but it was too late. They're gone, for good. I- I'm so sorry."

The Doctor blinked, River's lips parted in horrified confusion. 

"Aria's regenerations are gone."


	17. Waking Up Slow

She was afraid to open her eyes.

She didn't want to see her black cell. She didn't want to believe that after everything that had happened, she had ended up back here and alone. But she knew what had happened, and she couldn't hold on forever to the hope that it had been a nightmare.

She had no idea how long she'd been out, but Aria was sure that, by now, her parents would have been thrown out of a spaceship somewhere horrible and isolated, and the only thing she could cling to was that they hadn't found Clara, and maybe they never would. She was smart, her Clara. She could escape them.

She was still aching, her body and mind and... well, everything. _Exhausted_.

It was then that she realized there were arms around her.

Without thinking, she summoned all the energy she didn't have, and began to thrash.

 _Not now, not now, not now_ , she thought desperately, her body flailing.

So she wasn't in her cell. After all that, they had brought her to him.

She hadn't realized she was screaming until the voice behind her cut through the rough sounds ripping from her lips, small arms grasping her tightly and warm breath against her neck.

"Shh, it's okay, I've got you, you're okay..."

But the voice was gentle and soft in it's urgency.

It wasn't his. It was _hers_.

But that meant...

She was startled into silence, gasping for breath. Her eyes flew open and she sobbed as an unexpected reality fell upon her.

The wall wasn't black.

It was covered with stars.  

 

~

 

Jack was flying the TARDIS. He knew they wouldn't put up too much of an argument when he insisted he stay for a while. They were in no condition to be travelling on their own. None of them were. 

River was sitting on the steps, staring at the floor. The Doctor was below the main console, fiddling senselessly with the wires.

They both wanted desperately to see Aria, but they needed to be stronger than this when they did. And she was asleep. And she was with Clara.

They just needed to be stronger.

After who knows how long, River glanced up at Jack, whose brows were furrowed in concentration as he worked at the controls. She sat up slightly, hands clasped losely together, arms resting upon her legs. Her green eyes were sad as she watched him.

"It isn't your fault, you know," she assured him.

Jack took a deep breath, letting out a sigh. After a moment, he looked up at her with heavy eyes. 

"It's not," she insisted.

"I wish..." he started, looking away again.

"You saved her, Jack," River got up and crossed to him, placing a warm palm on over his hand, "I couldn't be more grateful."

He turned his hand in hers, squeezing it tightly, his expression full of deep regret. She smiled weakly at him and he shook his head, pulling her into a hug. It took her a beat, but she soon returned the embrace, pinching her eyes shut as he rocked her slightly. 

Below, the Doctor was moving with quick fingers, rewiring things that didn't need to be rewired, calculating and recalculating, numbers, numbers, numbers... He didn't hear her footsteps, but he could feel her in the air as she entered the space. She stood by silently, looking down on him as he worked.

Damn her, she always made him remember who he was. All he wanted to do was forget. His breath quickened as he fumbled and got his fingers tangled in some thin, intricate cords. He growled in frustration, but she merely sighed, kneeling before him where he sat in the jump seat and beginning to loosen the knots.

He watched her face; it was smooth and calm. His chest ached as he remembered the look she wore after her parents were taken in Manhattan. It was the same face, but increased in intensity by age and enough surviving, enough loss to last twenty lifetimes. 

As soon as his fingers were free he stretched them, River looking up and searching his face with concern laced in her eyes. He couldn't bear it; all that pain and she was still so worried about him. Why couldn't he just be stronger for her?

He reached his hands up and touched her face, her eyes closing as she leaned into his touch.

"Come here," he whispered gently.

She leaned up and he wrapped his arms tightly around her waist, as she held him back tightly with her arms wound around his neck, burrying her face in his skin there as he rocked her.

They stayed like that, holding each other, neither able to find the will to move.

 

~

 

The tears were falling silently, her breathing uneven, as she looked at the wall that she hadn't seen in five years, wrapped in the arms of the woman she never thought she'd see again.

"Shh, I've got you, it's okay..."

The string of murmured comforts continued as Clara whispered promises into her hair, her thumb rubbing soothingly against her arm as she held on tightly.

More than anything Aria wanted to turn and see her face, but she was trembling; half scared out of her mind that should she move, Clara would disappear and this will all have been a cruel and taunting dream.

If it was, she didn't want to wake up. She would rather stare at the wall of stars forever and believe she was back on the TARDIS with the people that she loved, than risk waking up again in that place...

"Please, please, please..."

She began to plead with the universe under her breath.

Clara shifted behind her when she heard Aria's voice, soft and muted as if she were praying. She looked down at her face, her heart aching in her chest. She smoothed the hair off Aria's face, sticking to her wet skin, matted by the tears and sweat.

She felt the hand, and was so startled that she turned her body against her better judgement. She expected to be jolted awake, but she gasped when she saw the face of an angel above her.

Clara's hand had stayed, and was now cupping her cheek, caressing her face as she tried to calm her.

"Aria..."

And then she surrendered; hearing her name from those lips, her voice... it wasn't a dream. Aria flung her arms around Clara, who willingly took her into a warm embrace, holding her there as she sobbed against her.

Clara could feel it. The overwhelming pain. Something was wrong.

Something was terribly, terribly wrong... 

 


	18. Lost (& Found)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I didn't forget about this fic! I'm BAAAACK! :) 
> 
> On a more serious note, because of the nature of this chapter and the chapters to come, I'm going to put a trigger warning up from now on, just to be safe <3 We are getting to Aria's trauma and some things along the line of PTSD, so just be aware, and take care of yourselves. Love to you all!

Eventually, Aria cried herself back to (a far more restful) sleep in Clara's arms. 

Although she was afraid to leave her, Clara slipped quietly out of the room, tucking her in and pressing a gentle kiss to her forehead. The Doctor promised he would explain, and the longer she looked at Aria, the more she needed to know. 

Once out of the room, she leaned back against the door for a moment, taking a much needed breath, before walking quickly into the control room to get her answers.

Jack looked up as soon as he heard her enter the room, his face falling when he saw her. But Clara was looking around, and she didn't seem to notice.

"Where's the Doctor?"

Jack's heart was crumbling in his chest all over again, and he opened his mouth to say something, before snapping it shut and shaking his head. He nodded towards the lower deck.

"Down there," he said, his voice soft and strangled.

She furrowed her brows in confusion, nodding her head once and mumbling a "Thanks" as she went below. 

She stopped quickly at the bottom step, retreating a bit as she realized she had caught the Doctor and River in a rather intimate moment. Not physically innapproprate, of course, but something so emotionally charged and quiet that she felt it rude to watch. They were resting their foreheads against eachother, the Doctor's hands holding her face preciously between his palms as she gripped the tops of his legs firmly where she knelt on the floor.

Clara tripped a bit on her feet in her effort to soundlessly retreat, and the Doctor opened his eyes, which widened when they set upon her.

"Clara..."

River turned and together they stood while Clara tried to mutter an apology, but the Doctor quickly silenced her.

"No, no, it's fine, Clara, it's fine," he assured her.

"How is she? Is she asleep, is she-" River stumbled over questions, unable to contain herself.

"She's alright," Clara said with a weak smile, "She's asleep now."  Looking at River's face, she decided, for now, to leave out the nightmares. The violent thrashing. 

Clara looked between the two of them, and she couldn't help it any longer.

"Doctor, what happened to her?"

They both froze. River looked from Clara to the Doctor with worried eyes, and spoke quietly with an understanding concern. "She doesn't know?"

The Doctor shook his head, his gaze to the floor.

"Know what?"

The Doctor looked up at Clara and let out an exhausted breath. He couldn't save her from the truth, so he took her hands gently in his and treid to find the words.

"Doctor," she encouraged, "Please, just tell me."

WIth one last glance to River, who nodded tensely in return, the Doctor gave Clara's small hands a light squeeze, and proceeded to break her heart.

"There was a... complication, a diversion, of some sort. Something happened. We... for her, for Aria... it's been five years."

Clara suddenly felt like her body had been emptied out, breathing impossible as she shooke her head, backing slowly away. "No, no, no..."

The Doctor followed and helped her sit on the step, which she collapsed onto as if her legs had given out on her.

"It can't be, we can't have-" she was grasping at nothing, refusing to believe, searching both of their faces for something, anything, that would say they were wrong. Of course it hadn't been so long.

But it had.

The Doctor held her arms firmly where he knelt in front of her, considering for a moment as he watched her panic that maybe he shouldn't tell her the rest.

"Doctor..." River urged, as if sensing his hesitation. She knew it was better to jsut rip the bandaid off now. It would do no good to hide it from her here, only for her to be hurt again later.

Clara was holding her head in her hands, trying to process it all.   
  
"She also... she was like me, Clara, like River was..." _Ignore that pang of guilt_ , _for now_ , he winced, "She had the abilitiy to regenerate."

Clara looked up at him, blinking fiercely against the unrelenting tears, "Had?"

"They..." _Be gentle_ , he thought, _she doesn't need to know the details_ , "Took them from her, and there was an accident, and they.... were destroyed."

He set his jaw against his own fury and emotions, as Clara shook her head in denial and began to cry again.

"Clara..."

But she was up, running back to the room where Aria slept, closing the door quietly and crawling into bed behind her once more. She wrapped an arm protectively around her waist, holding her close as Aria unconsciously snuggled closer. Clara burried her face in her hair and breathed.

"I'm sorry." 

~~~~

The Doctor dropped his head as she ran, expecting as much as she disappeared up the stairs. He stayed like that for a moment, before River's soft voice shook him back to the present.

"What do we say to her?"

He looked up at her, confusion in his eyes.

"Aria," she breathed, looking heartbroken, "What are we going to say to her?"

He turned toward his wife fully, his own uncertainty and pain evident in the darkness of his eyes. He moved closer to her, searching for an answer.

"Five years. Five years, she waited for us, and..." her voice broke, but she shut her eyes tight and pulled herself together. Tucked inside her back pocket, the small diary remained, burning a hole into her skin. "What do we say?"

The Doctor took a breath, letting out a sigh as he continued to search for the words she needed to hear. The right words. The answer.

"We tell her that... we love her."

With that, she collapsed into him, letting the tension in her body release into his arms. He held her gently for a few moments, before whispering into her hair.

"Burn it."

She pulled back, startled. "What?"

"The diary. I saw you take it."

"I..."

"We don't want to know, River. And she won't want to remember."

He touched her face, his fingers pressing lightly against her skin. 

"I don't want her to remember," she admitted.

"Neither do I."

~~~~

Aria awoke suddenly and sat up with a start; the demons were running wild in her mind, and every time she drifted in and out of sleep, she was sure she would open her eyes to a black wall. Alone. Not in the arms of her Clara.

But there Clara was, exhausted and sleeping. She wanted to wake her. She wanted to kiss her and hold her and love her right there. But she looked so peaceful, she couldn't bring herself to wake her. To show her what she had become. 

She risked a gentle kiss to her forehead, her voice breaking in an involuntary whimper as she did. Surely she must be dreaming. Clara's skin against her lips brought such relief it was almost painful.

As Aria quietly let herself out of the room, she felt as though she were in a fog, her feet barely able to carry her. She was wandering about in a world that no longer belonged to her, but to which she wanted so desperately to fit into again. She stumbled through the hall, touching every wall and nook and cranny to ensure that it was real. And with each physical reassurance, her feet picked up speed and breaths became shallow, until she was running breathless down the hall. 

When she came to the stairs, she was too quick, and too disoriented, tripping down them and falling with a thud to the ground in the console room. 

Jack rounded the corner quickly, and the Doctor and River looked up to see her crumpled form, breathing heavily above them. Without another thought, they ran up to their daughter. 

"Aria?"

"Aria, darling, are you alright?"

Their voices overlapped in their worry as they knelt on either side of her. By the time they reached her, she was curled in on herself in the fetal position, her hands gripping her hair tightly and her eyes pinched shut. She was shaking her head and crying, refusing to react to the concern and care in their voices and touch. And she was mumbling. River and The Doctor exchanged a look with each other, trying to understand her whispered chant.

" _It hurts, it hurts, it's just a dream, it hurts, I want it, it hurts, it hurts..._ "

Her voice choked with sobs, and River gently but firmly brushed her hand across her forehead.

"Aria," she tried, "Aria, look at me please. Aria..."

But she wouldn't budge. With a sigh, River changed tactic, prying her hands away from her head, detangling her stiff fingers from her sweat drenched hair. She held them away from her body, as she leaned down near to Aria's ear, making sure she heard her.

"Aria, open your eyes. Please. For me."

"Come on, sweetheart," The Doctor chimed in desperately, running his hand over her head soothingly.

Finally, perhaps hearing both of their voices had convinced her, because slowly, Aria opened her eyes.

River brought her fingers gently across Aria's cheek, tears filling her eyes and a soft smile on her face at finally having her here with her. Having her safe.

"See? We're real. We're here. It's not a dream." 

"It's not a dream," she echoed, as if she didn't believe it.

With that, she let the past five years overwhelm her as she scurried forward and curled her head and hands into River's lap, sobbing and exhausted. In that moment, she looked like a frightened little girl. River immediately wrapped her arms around her, holding her close and rocking her, speaking quietly into her hair.

"It's not a dream, I've got you, we've got you, we're here..."

The Doctor moved closer, rubbing her back as he enveloped them both. His girls. His family. 

And he held them even tighter. 

 

 


	19. To Sleep, Perchance to Dream

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Short & (hopefully) sweet, but necessary :)

"River, it's alright, come on, Jack and I can take her to her room."

"No."

"River..."

"No."

Who knows how much time had passed as they sat there on the floor, but eventually Aria had fallen to sleep curled up in River's lap. The Doctor was trying to convince River to let them take her back to bed, but she refused to move, calmly rejecting any attempts to get her up from the floor. Now she was beginning to nod off against her will; but as long as Aria was peacefully asleep in her arms, she wouldn't budge. Thinking River had finally succumbed to her exhaustion, the Doctor tried to gently lift her arm. But without opening her eyes, River only held to her daughter tighter. 

With a sigh, the Doctor finally backed off. It was never wise to mess with a lioness and her cub.

So he stood back, looking at them both sleeping on the floor of the TARDIS, leaned up against the wall. The longer he looked, the more it hurt.

The more his mind raced as he tried to come up with a way to keep them there. 

~~~

Back in Aria's room, Clara groggily opened her eyes to the empty bed. She sat up, looking around the room quickly, and started to panic.

"Aria?" 

Gasping for breath, she ran out the door and down the hall, calling out her name. 

"Aria?! Ari-"

She came to a halt in the console room, the Doctor coming up to gently hush her and point to the women in the corner.

"Shh, it's alright," he assured her quietly, his hands on her arms, "It's alright, she's right there."

Her face still somewhat startled, she looked back and forth between the Doctor and Aria, nodding her head. She took a few deep breaths and tried to calm down. 

"Right, right. Okay. Okay. Sorry, it's just- I woke up, and she was gone and I thought..."

"I know. I know, it's alright. She's okay."

"Is she?"

The Doctor's stomach lurched. Clara looked at him with lost eyes. Doubtful eyes. 

"I don't know."

~~~

It was as if no one wanted to move for fear that everything would fall apart or disappear. Neither the Doctor or Clara could bear to leave their girls alone in the console room, no matter how many times Jack insisted they would be fine. He would keep an eye on them.

"Clara, you should rest."

"So should you."

"You both should,' Jack countered with a huff, leaning against the console with his arms crossed. He raised his eyebrow at them as they glanced back defiantly.

"I'm not leaving," the both said in unison.

They looked back at each other, each staring the other one down. 

"Oh, for crying out loud," Jack muttered, coming around the side. He must have retrieved a few pillows and blankets at some point during their stand-off, because he stepped between Clara and the Doctor, shoving them into their arms.

The Doctor sighed. "Fine, fine, come on then."

He carefully placed a blanket over Aria, touching her hair gently as he did. He then crossed around and sat up against the wall beside River, who instantly and  unconsciously snuggled into his side, leaning her head on his shoulder. He couldn't help but smile a bit at that, his broken hearts filling at the feel of her beside him. He looked warmly up to Clara, holding out his arm.

Her shoulders collapsed under her tiredness, and she walked over, tossing the pillow into his lap, and curling up on the floor beside him, her head close to Aria's. The Doctor pulled up the second blanket and draped it over her, and she took it gratefully, closing her eyes and finally letting her body relax. 

The Doctor's eyes passed over the forms surrounding him. Clara, his impossible girl, and his daughter, the impossible survivor. And his wife. His River. He brushed his hand over Aria's hair once more before resting his arm comfortingly over Clara. He turned his head into River's hair, placing a tender kiss there and breathing her in. He closed his eyes and imagined it would never end, that he could exist forever in this moment, and in the comfort and warmth of his family, he rested his head against River's, and finally, for the first time in a very long while, fell into a deep, beautiful sleep. 


	20. I Go Walking In My Sleep

The Doctor, accustomed to less sleep than most, woke up some time later to find Aria gone from River's lap. He looked around, worried, and saw the TARDIS doors open, the dark and glittering stars in the vortex visible outside. 

He furrowed his brow, trying to crane his neck around to see what was going on, before finally carefully maneuvering Clara off his lap, resting the pillow on the floor beneath her head as she continued to sleep. 

Hands in his pockets, he walked quietly around the console, and saw Aria sitting on the floor, feet dangling out into space. He stood for a moment, watching her stare out into the universe. River's words from earlier echoed in his head; _"What do we say to her?"_  Looking at her now, he wished he had a clue. 

Not wanting to startle her, he cleared his throat. She jumped a bit and turned her head, relaxing when she saw him and turning her head back out the door. 

"Mind if I join you?"

She didn't respond. Chest tight, he sat down beside her, his own legs dangling beside hers.

Words had always been his specialty. He was good with words. Where were they now? He felt helpless as he drank in the sight of her face, aching for some way to change what had happened, to wipe the pain now etched in her features away forever. The fear. The anger. The sadness.

_"What do we say to her?"_

Nothing he said could fix what had happened. Nothing he said could take away five years of who-knows-what kind of torture and loneliness. 

"Aria? Look at me? Please?"

But she wouldn't. Her eyes were cold and distant as she held her gaze firmly away from him. 

_"What doe we say to her?"_

Out of ideas, he settled for the truth.

"I know that nothing I can say can possibly make... any of this better. How-" he swallowed, the tightness in his chest threatening to burst, " _impossibly_ sorry we are that any of this happened to you. I don't- I don't know what they said to you, but... we didn't know, Aria, we didn't know we had child until... until you were gone. But... we love you, sweetheart, River and I. Your mother and I love you more than you can know, maybe more than you'll believe right now. But I hope you will in time, I hope..." he rand a hand over his face, trying to untangle his thoughts, "You're angry, I know, and I don't blame you..."

"I'm not angry," she said, her voice soft and dry. 

The Doctor looked at her, surprised by both her broken silence and her words. Now he could see the tear that had streaked through the grime still left on her face. 

She looked at him then, and in her eyes he could see everything. 

"Not with you."

Her breath caught a bit, and he could tell she was using whatever strength she had left to stop herself from crying. He watched her carefully, and waited.

"It's me," she choked out a wet, humorless laugh, before her eyes pinched shut and the tears began to fall, "It's my fault. It's all my fault. I left, I put myself right into their trap. Five years. All that time. And now look at me... there's nothing left. I'm nothing."

Her sobs overwhelmed her speech and the Doctor couldn't bear it any longer. Her gathered her into his arms and held her close to him as she cried.

"Oh, Aria," he breathed, kissing her head and willing his own eyes to stay dry, "You are everything."

After a moment, he pulled back slightly, holding her face in his hands and wiping the tears away with his thumbs. He made sure she was looking at him. He needed to make sure that she heard this.

"And this is NOT your fault. Never think that, EVER. It's not your fault this happened to you. You went after your mother, you were trying to save her. It was incredibly brave. YOU are incredibly brave. And incredibly strong. You survived. And it's over. It's over, alright? Because we've got you and I promise you, Aria, we will never let anyone take you from us again. You're safe, love. It's over."

She curled back into him then, so very tired, and clinging to his words as if they were the last hope for sanity. For safety. 

From next the console, River stood silently watching, her own tears falling silently down her cheeks.

~~~

Eventually, everyone retired to a bed, and Jack returned to Torchwood, promising to check in with them soon. The Doctor couldn't sleep, and so went to the lower deck to adjust and manipulate wires somewhat unnecessarily. When Clara and Aria reached the door to her room, she stopped, looking at Clara with a longing and pained expression. 

"I don't... I don't think we should, um..."

Clara swallowed, trying to put her own feelings aside. "You want to sleep on your own."

"No," Aria admitted, "no I don't, but... I'm afraid. Of my nightmares, I mean, I... I don't want to hurt you."

"Ari, I can't- I don't want you to be alone."

"Clara, if- if I hurt you..."

"You won't..."

"I might!" she insisted, a little harder than she intended and clearly terrified. She looked back up at Clara... "I- I'm sorry..."

The guilt on Aria's face, the intensity of her struggle to say what she wanted, what she needed... it broke Clara's heart. She wanted to save her any more pain, so she smiled lightly and shook her head.

"Stop. Don't be sorry, I understand. Really it's okay. I'll sleep in my room, and I'll be just down the hall if you need me, alright?"

Aria sighed, trying to smile but barely managing, "Thank you."

She wanted to kiss her. She wanted it so badly. But she didn't want to push Aria to do even the smallest thing she wasn't ready for, so she stopped herself. She couldn't just leave her with nothing, though, so she slowly lifted a hand to her cheek, holding her face gently as she kissed the other one, lingering a bit longer than she meant to. Aria closed her eyes and tried to hold back the wave of emotions rushing through her, just enjoying the feel of Clara's lips. When she pulled away, her eyes were dark and warm as her thumb stroked her skin briefly. 

"Goodnight, love."

"Goodnight."

~~~

River was sitting on the edge of her bed, her leg bouncing.

She couldn't sleep. This was ridiculous.

Huffing, she stood and paced around the room. 

That was when she heard the screaming.

"Aria..." she breathed, running to the room next door.

Flinging the door open, she saw her daughter, thrashing around in her bed, tangled in the sheets. River closed the door behind her, and crossed to the bed, firmly grabbing her flailing arms and bringing them down to her sides. She was able to maneuver herself onto the bed beside her, and wrapped her tightly in her arms, hushing her calmly.

"Shh, it's alright, you're alright, I've got you."

At some point, the embrace took its desired effect and her body calmed as her breathing evened out. Her eyes drifted open and her heavy breaths turned into quiet sobs as she relaxed in her mother's arms.

"I know, sweetheart. I know."

River stayed with her then, holding her close and helping her fight off the night terrors as they came. They began to occur less and less, and River looked down at Aria curled around her, head tucked safely under her chin, and wondered what it would have been like to raise her. She stroked her hair, lost in daydreams and aching in her loss. But that loss was not worth dwelling on; what's done is done, and she was here now. 

When Aria finally stirred, she sat up slowly, rubbing at her eyes. River watched her wake quietly, and when Aria glanced back, she smiled softly at her.

"Hi there."

Aria's face was red in embarrassment, but River seemed unsurprised. Turning away again, she cleared her throat.

"Hi."  
  
She scratched at the back of her neck, a tick oh so very like the Doctor, and sighed.

"I'm sorry."

"For what?" River asked gently.

"For... I must have kept you up, I... I didn't... I mean, you're not..."

"You didn't hurt me, darling. And you have nothing to be sorry for."

Aria shook her head, bringing her knees up to her chest and wrapping her arms around herself. 

"I could have though, I might have..."  
  
"I can take it," River assured her. She shifted, coming next to Aria and wrapping an arm around her.

"And I know a thing or two about nightmares."

Aria glanced up at her cautiously. "Yeah?"

"Yeah."

Aria sighed, her mind racing with questions and hopes and fears that she could unravel, couldn't put words to. 

"And Aria?"

She turned lost brown eyes up to River, who was doing everything she could to hold herself together as she struggled to say what she needed to. 

" _I'm_ sorry," she pressed on, voice shaking, "I'm so... sorry. You have to believe me when I say if I had known you were out there, I would have torn whole  worlds apart to get to you. And I know, you must hate me..."

"I don't," Aria insisted, suddenly passionate.

"You don't?" River asked, nervous in spite of herself.

Aria shook her head furiously, and River kissed her head, holding her tighter as Aria clutched back.

"I promise you, love," River said after a moment, her voice sure and strong, "Nothing will ever take you from me again." 

 


End file.
